Only Fooling Myself

Current Mood: Fading

Wow. I was all expecting things to get better, but they only got worse. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't concentrate on school at all and it seems like the world wants me to spend all my time by myself... Well. That was the beginning of last week and all of last week, as for right now things are a little bit better, and the high from Bingham Ball has kept me going... So... Yes.

Like homework and cleaning my room. These things need some SERIOUS attention. XD

What else to say? My family is having a small Thanksgiving this year. Just my Grams from my mom's side, my mom, my dad, and my brother. That's it. I can't even express how happy I am about this. The last few years my dads side of the family has come over, and none of them like me... So this is a thousand times better. I still have to go to my aunt's house for a few hours after dinner, but I can deal with a short bit of torture. :)

Christmas is coming up so I'm pretty ecstatic. My mom's side of the family comes over on Christmas Eve and it's always a ton of fun and hyperness that I really enjoy. They're all older than me, but somehow I deal with that better than my somewhat immature cousins on my dad's side. I also have second cousins on my moms side that are still toddlers and hence very much fun to play with. :D

I'm happy that I don't sound very depressing this time, must be a good sign. :P

I've been really sick. I get these random stomach aches out of nowhere that make me want to explode and implode all at once. They hurt like hell, but in between them I feel perfectly fine. It's strange. I wish that I could go to a doctor, but as of right now we don't have health insurance... Stupid economy and job losses.

Hot N Cold is pretty funny. I love Katy Perry. She's hilarious. You either love her or hate her, there's really no gray area there.

School Musical = So much cooler than High School Musical. Better acting AND voices.

Maybe if I had magical powers... Not that she does... But maybe she does... Does she? Wow. I do sound insane.

Now I'm just rambling. I'm never able to just stick to one subject. Darn. I do the same things in my journals for English... At least my teacher doesn't read them.

Anyway...

Buh-bye for now.

Until We Meet Again Under The Blue Moon,
Alyce

Currently Listening To:
Only Fooling Myself - Kate Voegele

A Creature

Note: This was written quite some time ago. Due to technical issues it failed to post. So... here it is now. :P

Current Mood: Conflicted

Okay.
A heart to heart here, yes?
Not that anyone besides Rachel is paying much attention, but that makes things easier. Haha.

I'm only human. Sometimes everyone expects me to do more.
It snowed today. I didn't admit it to anyone, but I rather enjoyed it. Snow washes everything away. A new beginning is what we all need.

I wrote a poem and showed it to a few of my friends... It was my scream for help... No one really realized it. I just wanted somebody to ask, "Hey, Alyce. Are you okay?"
BTW, Rachel, not you. You've been amazingly nice lately. Again, thank you. And good luck with trying harder. I think that I might try a little bit harder too.

Here's my poem.

A Creature

Step, left.
Hello.
Step, right.
How’re you?
Step, smile.
A small creature goes through the motions
A small creature that is broken.
Step, nod.
Still, pause.
Stand, listen.
A creature cries
She’s lost
She longs to love
“All I can be is me.” She whispers.
Strangers pass by, weary.
Always weary.
She longs to be loved.
Step, shake.
Step, turn.
Sit, stand.
How can someone love something that can’t be found?
A creature, still.
A creature, always.
A creature lost and a creature broken.
“All I can be is me!” She shouts.
Still unheard.
A terribly beautiful creature.
A beautifully terrible girl.
Step, smile.
Step, laugh.
Hollow and Hidden.
“All I can be is me!”
She screams at her strangers.
“Which just happens to be an act.”
Sit.
Stand.
Wave.
Good-bye.
Turn, walk away.
An indifferent creature.
An indifferent girl.

By: Alyce Shayne Heart
A.S.H.


There it is... And yes, I do see myself as the Creature, as the Girl. Maybe not with quite as many issues, I exaggerated a bit, but I feel like there's a lot of people who go through these types of emotions. I had to write about it.

Anyway...
My mom will realize that I've been on the computer for ever and get mad, so I must "Go to Bed." Haha. I spend a lot of time just sitting there. Maybe I should count sheep! I love sheep! They're so cute and so fluffy! Um. Yeah. Lol.

Sometime I WILL review something. I must. :P

Until We Meet Again Under The Blue Moon,
Alyce

Currently Listening To:
I'd Rather Be In Love - Michelle Branch

Thanks

Current Mood: Indifferent

This one goes out to Rachel who obviously read my last post and realized that I was having kind of a hard time.
THANKS A TON! I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU! ^^ It's good to have friends who care!

You too, Rachael. :P

Where to begin... Where to begin.

So I finally asked my friend David to Bingham Ball and he said yes! I honestly think that he's more excited than I am. Hehe.

I think that I'm finally over the whole, um... AT thing. Killing him wouldn't help anything. He's semi-forgiven. All this because he smiled at me and actually said something when I spoke to him. (Ha. Ha.) I just hope that he'll learn from this and not do something like it again. Besides, I have better things to waste my energy on than giving him the stink eye.

I've been sick recently and my mood keeps going up and down, like I'm bipolar or something. Somehow it seems like when I just sit around and do nothing is when I'm the most secure, so I haven't really been out much. I just need to relax for awhile, I'm sick of drama. Ha. I sound so... Prep or something. Oh, well. I honestly don't care that much. I'm trying really hard to just concentrate on one subject for awhile... I'm feeling my mind jump from place to place.

Now right here for the whole world to see...

I've been hooked on Fable II! It's FANTASTIC! I can't even begin to tell you about it...

Anyway...
I'm in writing mode.
I must right.

Currently Listening To:
Footsteps