I finally woke up today.
Beauty in so many eyes, a sinner in God's. He forgives all his children, doesn't he? Does he ever lecture them? Does he ever give them a consequence? Even the most beautiful of God's children can fall.
Like a phoenix I've risen from my ashes... From when you burned me. Through it all I have survived and you won't beat me. I'm somebody new, different, and better. Believe that people ever change? Maybe you should now.
Old feelings, so far from the truth. What have you lied about? Still I'm holding on and now I'm rising up. Don't regret this yet, it's not over.
Sometimes things just need to change.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Selfish Sins 6
I'm falling apart.
You've made me so emotionally ill that my body is giving up on me. I can't retain food, I can't sleep, I can't smile. You used to make me so happy... What happened?
When I ask if you're happy with what you've done... I really mean it because despite what you've put me through I hope for you to be happy with all that I have left... which isn't much.
You've made me so emotionally ill that my body is giving up on me. I can't retain food, I can't sleep, I can't smile. You used to make me so happy... What happened?
When I ask if you're happy with what you've done... I really mean it because despite what you've put me through I hope for you to be happy with all that I have left... which isn't much.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Selfish Sins 5
Didn't think you'd fall this far.
Walk all over me, sweetest most sincere friend of mine. Tear out my heart and watch in glee as I bleed... Believe it or not, no matter what you do I'll never stop loving you.
I might have given up on the trust, I might never look at you the same way again but I always want to be your friend.
I might look away in disgust. I might not speak to you for weeks at a time. I might say cruel things. But I'll always remember what we went through together... When you were still the greatest person in the world. When I fully trusted you and never saw past the lie.
Will he take as much as I have?
Will he allow you to take out all your pain on him? Selfish sinners aren't known for being helpful.
What's in the choice, as easy as it is? Her or him, friend or stranger, sister or lover. If you even have to think about it you weren't really a friend in the beginning.
Dearest friend of mine, what have you done?
Walk all over me, sweetest most sincere friend of mine. Tear out my heart and watch in glee as I bleed... Believe it or not, no matter what you do I'll never stop loving you.
I might have given up on the trust, I might never look at you the same way again but I always want to be your friend.
I might look away in disgust. I might not speak to you for weeks at a time. I might say cruel things. But I'll always remember what we went through together... When you were still the greatest person in the world. When I fully trusted you and never saw past the lie.
Will he take as much as I have?
Will he allow you to take out all your pain on him? Selfish sinners aren't known for being helpful.
What's in the choice, as easy as it is? Her or him, friend or stranger, sister or lover. If you even have to think about it you weren't really a friend in the beginning.
Dearest friend of mine, what have you done?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Selfish Sins IIII
No one will ever love you as much as I.
He told you he loved you, but does he really? You barely know this naive little sinner. This boy who's told so many that he "loves" them. What is he but a liar? Saying whatever he feels to get what he wants most, a trophy such as you.
Someday he'll tire of you, which I never will. His "love" will fade while mine will pain for you, hoping you'll finally see what it is you've done to me.
I've lost something vital to you and I know now that I'll never get it back. You've changed everything in me and I will right the wrongs you've done in my life and show love to those who deserve it, who deserve to know something other than the Selfish Sins people like you have spread around the world.
I have been born again, a new star in the darkness and thanks to what you've done I will never fade. When all the others have fallen I will still shine brightly. I'll never give up the hope you almost shattered.
So while you strive on his selfish sins I hope you remember me. I hope you look back and think, "I should have thought twice and stayed with the people who really loved me."
He told you he loved you, but does he really? You barely know this naive little sinner. This boy who's told so many that he "loves" them. What is he but a liar? Saying whatever he feels to get what he wants most, a trophy such as you.
Someday he'll tire of you, which I never will. His "love" will fade while mine will pain for you, hoping you'll finally see what it is you've done to me.
I've lost something vital to you and I know now that I'll never get it back. You've changed everything in me and I will right the wrongs you've done in my life and show love to those who deserve it, who deserve to know something other than the Selfish Sins people like you have spread around the world.
I have been born again, a new star in the darkness and thanks to what you've done I will never fade. When all the others have fallen I will still shine brightly. I'll never give up the hope you almost shattered.
So while you strive on his selfish sins I hope you remember me. I hope you look back and think, "I should have thought twice and stayed with the people who really loved me."
Selfish Sins III
Are you happy knowing you've lost our trust?
The closest of friends, all different but all the same.
One was too selfish to think of us first, to think about what would happen to our friendship.
She took him with one fowl swoop and held him close, grinning and giggling the entire time. We watched in anger, sadness, and disappointment as they kissed before us, not a care in the world.
You have him now, dearest friend of mine. The darkness has taken over, any chance of ever shining has been lost. You brought us close then tore us apart. I hope you're happy, dearest friend of mine.
We'll never trust you again. You're false beauty has been revealed. I hope you sleep well at night, knowing who you've hurt and what you've lost. I hope you're happy with what you've done. This pain might never subside.
I've lost faith in you and this selfish sin.
What you call love is nothing but a selfish desire to be wanted, to touch, and to feel.
It won't last long and don't come to us when it falls apart.
I'll laugh like you did at her. Bitter, bitter, bitter sinner.
The closest of friends, all different but all the same.
One was too selfish to think of us first, to think about what would happen to our friendship.
She took him with one fowl swoop and held him close, grinning and giggling the entire time. We watched in anger, sadness, and disappointment as they kissed before us, not a care in the world.
You have him now, dearest friend of mine. The darkness has taken over, any chance of ever shining has been lost. You brought us close then tore us apart. I hope you're happy, dearest friend of mine.
We'll never trust you again. You're false beauty has been revealed. I hope you sleep well at night, knowing who you've hurt and what you've lost. I hope you're happy with what you've done. This pain might never subside.
I've lost faith in you and this selfish sin.
What you call love is nothing but a selfish desire to be wanted, to touch, and to feel.
It won't last long and don't come to us when it falls apart.
I'll laugh like you did at her. Bitter, bitter, bitter sinner.
Selfish Sins II
I watched a star die today.
She was one that I always seemed to pay more attention to than the rest. She always shone so bright, flickering every now and again. I'd look up and she was always different than all the rest, an underdog of sorts. I had so much hope for this lone shining star, I prayed for her often. She'd wink and smile at me, always unsure but so beautiful.
I noticed recently that she seemed to shine brighter than the rest. I thought that she was so happy, having finally found her place among the other stars, glowing even in the darkest of darkness. Maybe she was better now, more than ever... But maybe the whole thing turned out to be a lie.
I've seen stars vanish into the darkness before. They flash brightly for only moments then disappear without any complaint... I never quite understood it. But this one star that I really wanted to survive finally just gave up.
I was watching her shine, smiling back at her when in the blink of an eye she was dragged into the oblivion of the darkness, of the world. She fell victim to her own selfish sin.
Now I watch as one by one the stars die. They're overtaken by the shadows and the reality and the heartless soul of love, the wildest and most painful sin of them all.
Maybe I should have known she'd fall, but she fooled me all the while.
She was one that I always seemed to pay more attention to than the rest. She always shone so bright, flickering every now and again. I'd look up and she was always different than all the rest, an underdog of sorts. I had so much hope for this lone shining star, I prayed for her often. She'd wink and smile at me, always unsure but so beautiful.
I noticed recently that she seemed to shine brighter than the rest. I thought that she was so happy, having finally found her place among the other stars, glowing even in the darkest of darkness. Maybe she was better now, more than ever... But maybe the whole thing turned out to be a lie.
I've seen stars vanish into the darkness before. They flash brightly for only moments then disappear without any complaint... I never quite understood it. But this one star that I really wanted to survive finally just gave up.
I was watching her shine, smiling back at her when in the blink of an eye she was dragged into the oblivion of the darkness, of the world. She fell victim to her own selfish sin.
Now I watch as one by one the stars die. They're overtaken by the shadows and the reality and the heartless soul of love, the wildest and most painful sin of them all.
Maybe I should have known she'd fall, but she fooled me all the while.
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