Where are you Christmas?

Christmas is this week, but it just doesn't feel like Christmas to me.
The tree is up, decorated... But I didn't decorate it. There's snow, even if there's not much right now... We're having our family party on Christmas Eve with my mother's side of the family, as of right now we have no idea what our plans are for Christmas day...

I can't remember the last time I played in the snow. Maybe when my niece Bentley comes home it'll snow and I can take her our in the yard to play. Maybe then it would feel more like Christmas.

I'm back to wishing that I was a kid again. My mother keeps telling me, "It's just not the same, with you and your brother grown up..." I think that I might even miss my parent's excitement more than my own.

So here I am, typing this blog, listening to Christmas songs hoping for the little feeling that always came with Christmas. It's been a few years since I've had that feeling. I think that it's normal to miss it.

I got a guitar for Christmas... On the first of this month. She's a blue Ibanez Acoustic-Electric and I named her Rosemary, Rosie for short. I've taught myself a few chords and I can play the first ten notes of Greensleeves, which I think is pretty awesome. I can also play the beginning of Meg & Dia's Setting Up Sunday. I'm hoping to learn Greensleeves by Christmas, and Meg & Dia's Nineteen Stars by our school's talent show. Rachel said that if I could learn Nineteen Stars in time, she would sing for me. It'd be awesome. Lauren has promised to help me learn it. I love my friends. :)

I joined the MaD boards. It's been... an experience. I'm hoping that the boardies there will like me. It seems to take a lot for them to like newbies, but I'm not really new to the whole loving Meg & Dia thing... So hopefully they will accept me.

It just dawned on me that it's nine o'clock and I haven't eaten a meal today, only snacks. That means that I need to go feed, but I don't really want to go into the kitchen.

Ah, well. I have an idea:

Christmas? Come home. Let's be friends.

Until we meet again under the blue moon,
Alyce aka SeventeenthStar

Listening To:
Where Are You Christmas? by Faith Hill

Almost There

My birthday is February 1st.
This raises a lot of worry in my tiny heart... I mean, I'm seventeen now so that means that in about two months I will be eighteen. Crazy, huh? When you're young you can never imagine yourself being that old... Well, at least I couldn't. And it's not even... very old. At all. If eighteen is considered old I'm going to hit somebody.
Ah, well. So I thought long and hard about it and... Even for as young as I am, I've had a pretty full, happy life. I've almost done everything that I've wanted to do...
Besides a few things that I'm not quite old enough for yet-- Have a child, travel somewhere on my own, finish (and publish) a novel... Things like that that I've always wanted to do.

I've started learning the guitar. I'm far from good at this point, but I really enjoy practicing and teaching myself new chords and things like that. I think that it's good for myself to motivate myself like that. My summer was awesome because it was full of the motivation to actually do something and it's a time that I wouldn't take back for anything.

Busy is good, and I have been pretty busy. I'm always happier when there's a lot going on, I suppose that it makes me feel more like I'm not just wasting time or something like that...

So maybe I'm okay with turning eighteen. It's really not that bad. I think that I'm just afraid of being labeled as an adult, when... I admit, I am not quite ready to be an adult... despite my desire to live alone. Part of me can't wait, while another part is screaming for time to just freeze.
But, of course, it can't freeze until Becca comes home from Hawaii for Christmas... With her here, time is welcomed to freeze, otherwise I'm going to ask it to wait.

Now I'm mostly rambling. I tend to do that... quite often. Haha.

So I think about what I want my life to be, what I know that I can achieve, and while some of it is far from my reach at this point, I'm closer than I thought. I've done so much and I'm willing to do so much more, and I'm on the right track.

I seriously need to change these colors again. I just can't choose one that I REALLY like. Haha.

Ah, well then...

Until we meet again under the blue moon,
Alyce