It was cold; clean, white snow surrounded me. I was in what looked to be a forest, somewhere that I had never seen before but seemed so familiar. My instinct told me that I was in danger. I had goose bumps and my hair was standing up on the back of my neck. I rubbed my right arm nervously and walked ahead into the darkness. I was following a path of foot prints, like a dog's but somewhat larger. As I went on I noticed that the steps had changed, from that of a dog's into a human's. Something red in the snow followed the footprints. Was that... blood?
I looked up and saw before me in the darkness a pair of green-blue eyes.
"Tsuki? Tsuki, wake up!"
Was that Darke's voice? It came from somewhere next to me, but I couldn't look away from those eyes. I was drawn in, I took another step forward. I had to know what was there, who was calling out for me. I felt sick and coughed into my hand, something warm ran over it, but I didn't look to see what it was. I was running now, I needed to know what was in the darkness, but something grabbed my arm, shaking me. I tried to struggle away from the grip of whatever was holding me back. I needed to go farther.
"Tsuki!"
I opened my eyes wide and jumped out of my seat, pulling my arm away. "Let go of me!" I shouted, turning to see Darke standing there. I had elbowed him and he was stumbling back now, shocked by my sudden movement. He didn't say anything, just looked up at me with those handsome green eyes. I could tell that he was hurt.
"Oh, Darke... I didn't mean to... I was-"
He looked away from me. "You dozed off... The bell rang and I thought that I'd wake you up so you could go to your next class... I hope that you're not mad."
I shook my head. "I was dreaming, I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry."
He picked up his bag and without saying anything left the room. Mr. Reide cleared his throat and I realized that he had heard everything.
"I do hope that you don't make a habit of sleeping in class, Miss Doyle," he said to me.
I nodded, picking up my bag and rushing out of class where Darke was standing outside the door. He smiled nervously at me and I couldn't help but grin hugely at him. He seemed taken aback and stared past me at the wall, somehow this emphasized his black eye.
"Maybe if you wouldn't stay out all night you'd be able to stay awake in class," he said quietly, but jokingly.
I stuck my tongue out at him. "Look who's talking!"
He didn't smile, just looked down the hall. "Better get to class now," and he walked away from me.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Current Mood: Cold (Stupid Freezing Basement)
Christmas Eve!
What can I say? Best day out of the whole year! I really enjoy hanging out with the family... My little cousin was glued to me the entire night, it was kinda fun. I told her that I was sixteen and she asked me why I was still living at home... I couldn't stop laughing for the longest time.
I got my camcorder early so I could record our Christmas Eve party and I'm still trying to figure out how to use it, but I'm way excited. My parents also gave me this HUGE roller suitcase that I can take to Europe this summer... It's pretty sexy. Lol. It's blue, my favorite color.
My brother got a Play Station 3 that I was nice enough to set up in the basement for him. :P I'm sitting downstairs with him now. He's really happy and I'm excited to play it behind his back. Lol.
Bentley was SO CUTE! I couldn't believe how good she was all night! Everyone was really excited to see her and she seemed really happy. The best part of this christmas? BENTLEY OF COURSE! ARG! She's so adorable that I can hardly stand it!
Gawrsh my hands are cold. I had to let Megan's dog's in... They jumped all over me! Tomorrow I have to let them back out and feed the fishies... The eel... The eel...
RANDOM BURST OF WRITING!
I ducked behind the counter and tried my best to say silent, hoping that I hadn't been noticed. His voice rang out silently but firm as he spoke my name aloud; he had obviously seen me. I let out a long breath and stood up, waving and smiling awkwardly. He scratched his head, my lie finally dawning on him. His eyes widened and he rushed over, taking a moment to take in my blue vest.
"YOU WORK AT WALMART?!"
Suddenly the store seemed really quiet and I smiled my big Walmart Employee Smile.
"Is there anything I can help you with today, sir?"
Sheesh. I don't know what to say anymore. It's late and I'm tired. Night!
Until We Meet Again Under The Blue Moon,
Alyce
Currently Listening To:
Duffy - Warwick Avenue
Christmas Eve!
What can I say? Best day out of the whole year! I really enjoy hanging out with the family... My little cousin was glued to me the entire night, it was kinda fun. I told her that I was sixteen and she asked me why I was still living at home... I couldn't stop laughing for the longest time.
I got my camcorder early so I could record our Christmas Eve party and I'm still trying to figure out how to use it, but I'm way excited. My parents also gave me this HUGE roller suitcase that I can take to Europe this summer... It's pretty sexy. Lol. It's blue, my favorite color.
My brother got a Play Station 3 that I was nice enough to set up in the basement for him. :P I'm sitting downstairs with him now. He's really happy and I'm excited to play it behind his back. Lol.
Bentley was SO CUTE! I couldn't believe how good she was all night! Everyone was really excited to see her and she seemed really happy. The best part of this christmas? BENTLEY OF COURSE! ARG! She's so adorable that I can hardly stand it!
Gawrsh my hands are cold. I had to let Megan's dog's in... They jumped all over me! Tomorrow I have to let them back out and feed the fishies... The eel... The eel...
RANDOM BURST OF WRITING!
I ducked behind the counter and tried my best to say silent, hoping that I hadn't been noticed. His voice rang out silently but firm as he spoke my name aloud; he had obviously seen me. I let out a long breath and stood up, waving and smiling awkwardly. He scratched his head, my lie finally dawning on him. His eyes widened and he rushed over, taking a moment to take in my blue vest.
"YOU WORK AT WALMART?!"
Suddenly the store seemed really quiet and I smiled my big Walmart Employee Smile.
"Is there anything I can help you with today, sir?"
Sheesh. I don't know what to say anymore. It's late and I'm tired. Night!
Until We Meet Again Under The Blue Moon,
Alyce
Currently Listening To:
Duffy - Warwick Avenue
Monday, December 15, 2008
Beautiful Disaster (Explained)
HEY! Heheh. Most of my recent stuff has just been writing... And guess what this is... MORE WRITING!
Just a little info about my new project gone awry, Beautiful Disaster...
It's a story about a boy and a girl...
It all came to me while listening to Kelly Clarkson's Beautiful Disaster. It's a great song and I highly suggest that you listen to it. Essentially it's a song about a guy who's broken and a girl who wants to save him... It brought the thought to my mind that most stories include a handsome prince who has come to save the princess... What if it was the other way around? What if the beautiful princess was supposed to save the handsome prince... or what if someone actually failed for once? I haven't decided the end of the story yet. The truth is that I never know how one of them will end, I just let the characters follow their path... This only started in the ninth grade with my all too popular masterpiece Forsaken which has grown popularity among my friends who bash me every day for leaving it unfinished. Audrey's story will reach it's ending, I promise you that... I just need a little break from Henry constantly bugging me in my dreams. (So what if my characters talk to me in dream form? They ARE figments of MY imagination, after all. Besides, all he ever talks about is Evangeline and how cool it is that her body heals so fast. Pfft.)
0.o I think that I just ranted about a non existent person being annoying.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that I want this story to be different. Rather than focusing on one horribly depressed girl and her friends who have one too many issues this will simply be about a Star and her Handsomely Broken Prince. (By the way, considering what they are they're actually supposed to kill each other, but that will be left for the story to REALLY reveal...)
Anyway...
Characters
Lucien Doyle (Darke)
Lucien is one of my strangest characters yet. While I had him start out seemingly more together and happy than Tsuki, that is not the case. He's a rather broken boy and Tsuki just has issues sleeping. She's really the happy character.
Lucien is just full of his own dirty little secrets while Tsuki has none. I wanted Tsuki to seem like there was nothing there but just what's on the surface, but for those who are able to read into little things I wanted her to seem a little bit more... Different. While Lucien seems deep, and in some ways he is, but at one point you'll know more about him than even Tsuki.
Lucien has dark almost black brown hair and emerald eyes. I have asked Christy to draw him for me but while I wait this is the closest you'll get:
DARKE! CLICK MOI!
Note: I didn't draw that nor do I claim ownership to it. It's just sort of what he looks like! :P
Tsuki (Last name... Not decided.)
Tsuki is not Asain... Despite the name. XD I just said all there is to say about her at this point and I'm depending solely on Christy's drawing of her at this point to show what she looks like, so you shall have to wait.
... Suckers. (To the the three people who read my blog at all.)
I also have a DISCLAIMER!
I am not emo nor am I even considering suicide. Most things in my blog are just writing as in short stories, poetry, clippings from works in progress, or just tidbits of me ranting inanely about my life (which yes, I do exaggerate...) But it is all just me trying to vent a little and get a little bit of writing quickly to my friends. (Cara, Natalie, Anna, Tyler, Rachel, and Rachael... Sometimes my mother.)
Sometimes I quote song lyrics (mostly from Meg & Dia) of the song I'm listening to, which may sound a bit... Emo, I suppose.
And Anna is a girl, not a boy. I did not meet her on the internet, she went to middle school with Natalie then moved out of state. By the way, that was a story.
I'm sorry for any confusion or worry I might have caused.
Oh and I got my class ring! I LOVE MY HIGH SCHOOL! It's so shiny and blue, I can't thank my parents enough.
Oh and...
HAPPY SEVENTEENTH RACHEL!!
News, news...
I taught my teachers how to make awesome snowflakes. I never felt so special. They've been teaching them to other teachers! Who knew that going to Young Womens could end up being so fun? Props to Jenny who invited me, by the way. Too bad I'm not going this week. Maybe next time... I really enjoyed it.
Special shout out to...
EVERYONE! Putting me in a box at school has never been oh so much fun! :P I love Britney. I can't believe she actually put me in the box... I can't believe she could even pick me up! OH AND BIG BANG THEORY WAS HILARIOUS! After Christmas I shall by today's episode.
I wonder if Moonlight will come back...
I'm going through vampire withdrawals and I really like the actress, but I can't remember her name.
I still haven't gotten anyone's Christmas present... Let alone Rachel's BIRTHDAY present! (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!)
I'm a little over excited. All this writing recently has left me with nothing my random bursts of hyperness in the middle of Chemistry. (Grades doing a thousand times better, by the way. Having a sub helped give me more time to study.)
We're doing this AMAZING poetry book thing for Honors English. YAY FOR MULTICULTURAL POETRY!!! I'm just filled with ideas! I just hope that my teacher likes my book as much as my "A Creature" poem... She just won't let it go. It makes me feel great. (Still have to take The Traveler to her for Tyler... But I'm still too mad about that Sentence Kernels test that I got cheated out of...)
0.o Ten. Bed time. Tuckie sleeps in my room now. OMG HE GROWLED AT ME THIS MORNING! It scared me... at first. Then I got over it.
Btw, Rachel and Rachael have been just peaches recently. I want to thank them for being the two greatest Rachels in the world! (Haha.)
Night,
Alyce Shayne Heart
Queen of Teh Hypello
(HOLLA TO FINAL FANTASY X-2 AND THE HILARIOUS HYPELLO CHAPTER!)
P.S. Holiday cheer, much? Hehe.
Just a little info about my new project gone awry, Beautiful Disaster...
It's a story about a boy and a girl...
It all came to me while listening to Kelly Clarkson's Beautiful Disaster. It's a great song and I highly suggest that you listen to it. Essentially it's a song about a guy who's broken and a girl who wants to save him... It brought the thought to my mind that most stories include a handsome prince who has come to save the princess... What if it was the other way around? What if the beautiful princess was supposed to save the handsome prince... or what if someone actually failed for once? I haven't decided the end of the story yet. The truth is that I never know how one of them will end, I just let the characters follow their path... This only started in the ninth grade with my all too popular masterpiece Forsaken which has grown popularity among my friends who bash me every day for leaving it unfinished. Audrey's story will reach it's ending, I promise you that... I just need a little break from Henry constantly bugging me in my dreams. (So what if my characters talk to me in dream form? They ARE figments of MY imagination, after all. Besides, all he ever talks about is Evangeline and how cool it is that her body heals so fast. Pfft.)
0.o I think that I just ranted about a non existent person being annoying.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that I want this story to be different. Rather than focusing on one horribly depressed girl and her friends who have one too many issues this will simply be about a Star and her Handsomely Broken Prince. (By the way, considering what they are they're actually supposed to kill each other, but that will be left for the story to REALLY reveal...)
Anyway...
Characters
Lucien Doyle (Darke)
Lucien is one of my strangest characters yet. While I had him start out seemingly more together and happy than Tsuki, that is not the case. He's a rather broken boy and Tsuki just has issues sleeping. She's really the happy character.
Lucien is just full of his own dirty little secrets while Tsuki has none. I wanted Tsuki to seem like there was nothing there but just what's on the surface, but for those who are able to read into little things I wanted her to seem a little bit more... Different. While Lucien seems deep, and in some ways he is, but at one point you'll know more about him than even Tsuki.
Lucien has dark almost black brown hair and emerald eyes. I have asked Christy to draw him for me but while I wait this is the closest you'll get:
DARKE! CLICK MOI!
Note: I didn't draw that nor do I claim ownership to it. It's just sort of what he looks like! :P
Tsuki (Last name... Not decided.)
Tsuki is not Asain... Despite the name. XD I just said all there is to say about her at this point and I'm depending solely on Christy's drawing of her at this point to show what she looks like, so you shall have to wait.
... Suckers. (To the the three people who read my blog at all.)
I also have a DISCLAIMER!
I am not emo nor am I even considering suicide. Most things in my blog are just writing as in short stories, poetry, clippings from works in progress, or just tidbits of me ranting inanely about my life (which yes, I do exaggerate...) But it is all just me trying to vent a little and get a little bit of writing quickly to my friends. (Cara, Natalie, Anna, Tyler, Rachel, and Rachael... Sometimes my mother.)
Sometimes I quote song lyrics (mostly from Meg & Dia) of the song I'm listening to, which may sound a bit... Emo, I suppose.
And Anna is a girl, not a boy. I did not meet her on the internet, she went to middle school with Natalie then moved out of state. By the way, that was a story.
I'm sorry for any confusion or worry I might have caused.
Oh and I got my class ring! I LOVE MY HIGH SCHOOL! It's so shiny and blue, I can't thank my parents enough.
Oh and...
HAPPY SEVENTEENTH RACHEL!!
News, news...
I taught my teachers how to make awesome snowflakes. I never felt so special. They've been teaching them to other teachers! Who knew that going to Young Womens could end up being so fun? Props to Jenny who invited me, by the way. Too bad I'm not going this week. Maybe next time... I really enjoyed it.
Special shout out to...
EVERYONE! Putting me in a box at school has never been oh so much fun! :P I love Britney. I can't believe she actually put me in the box... I can't believe she could even pick me up! OH AND BIG BANG THEORY WAS HILARIOUS! After Christmas I shall by today's episode.
I wonder if Moonlight will come back...
I'm going through vampire withdrawals and I really like the actress, but I can't remember her name.
I still haven't gotten anyone's Christmas present... Let alone Rachel's BIRTHDAY present! (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!)
I'm a little over excited. All this writing recently has left me with nothing my random bursts of hyperness in the middle of Chemistry. (Grades doing a thousand times better, by the way. Having a sub helped give me more time to study.)
We're doing this AMAZING poetry book thing for Honors English. YAY FOR MULTICULTURAL POETRY!!! I'm just filled with ideas! I just hope that my teacher likes my book as much as my "A Creature" poem... She just won't let it go. It makes me feel great. (Still have to take The Traveler to her for Tyler... But I'm still too mad about that Sentence Kernels test that I got cheated out of...)
0.o Ten. Bed time. Tuckie sleeps in my room now. OMG HE GROWLED AT ME THIS MORNING! It scared me... at first. Then I got over it.
Btw, Rachel and Rachael have been just peaches recently. I want to thank them for being the two greatest Rachels in the world! (Haha.)
Night,
Alyce Shayne Heart
Queen of Teh Hypello
(HOLLA TO FINAL FANTASY X-2 AND THE HILARIOUS HYPELLO CHAPTER!)
P.S. Holiday cheer, much? Hehe.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Beautiful Disaster (Part Three)
I stared out at the tops of my neighbors houses. I was sitting on my roof, right next to my window. The sun was rising over the valley and in a half an hour I would have to drive myself to school. After my little episode in the shower I thought about staying home sick, but had decided instead to attend school anyway. I could tell now that Darke would somehow change my life, I wasn't sure how, but I knew he would. I wondered if I should stay away from him, forget the meeting tonight, and if I ever saw him fake indifference and pretend that I didn't know him... But somehow it seemed so much more difficult than that.
I grabbed my book bag and tossed it onto the grass below and jumped onto Old Oaky, climbing down. I picked up my bag, took my car keys from out of my pocket and slid into my old two door Honda Civic. I fumbled with my keys, shoving one into the ignition and pulled out onto the street.
The school wasn't far from my house. It was a large school, it had to be with the number of student. Their were four hundred students in the junior class alone, my class. The back parking lot was huge, but didn't have enough room for the entirety of the student body, the sophomores had to carpool with freshmen and their parents. It was still early so I grabbed a close parking spot and walked into the school.
The hallways were nearly empty. Only a few teachers wandered from place to place as early riser students loitered at their usual places, waiting for more of their friends to show up. I threw my bag over my shoulder and walked up the stairs on my left. I came to a familiar door and knocked quietly three times. The door opened and my mythology teacher moved aside, allowing me into the room. I walked to the back of the classroom to my usual seat and sat down.
Mr. Reide shifted his large glasses and shut the door, waddling to his desk and sitting in his swivel chair. "We have a new student today," he said to me, trying to make conversation as usual.
"Do we now?" I replied.
He nodded, running his hand through his non existent hair. He did this when he was nervous or excited. "Interesting fellow. I met him earlier this morning. Certainly not much of a talker."
"What's he like?" I asked.
He rubbed his chin. "Dark hair, green eyes. His right one was bruised you know. I asked him what happened but I don't think that he ever really told me."
I paused for a moment. It had finally dawned on me who this new student was and I stared down at my desk.
An announcement came over the intercom for Mr. Reide and he apologized, leaving me in the classroom by myself. Ten minutes went by and I suffered every second. I was frightened of what would happen next. This morning, in the shower, was that... A dream? Had I passed out? Or was it some sick vision of the future?
That's when he came in, black eye and all. His hair was neater now and he was wearing a black overcoat. His skin was surprisingly light, but not much more than my own. He had dark circles under his eyes, but the emerald hue of his eyes overruled them. His eyes were bright, but to me held darkness and sadness.
He noticed me immediately, making his way to sit next to me. "Tsuki," he said, "It's really nice to see a familiar face! Despite barely knowing you..." He chuckled hollowly.
I nodded.
"You look like you haven't slept. What time did you get home?" He asked.
"About four thirty..."
He stared at me for ages and then students began to pile into the room, distracting him. Mr. Reide came in and the bell for first period rang. Mr. Reide took attendance, which always took him forever and then called the class to order.
"Mr. Lucien will you please come introduce yourself to the class?" Mr. Reide said.
Darke nodded and stood up, walking to the front of the room. He stood there awkwardly. "My name is Lucien Doyle and I just moved here three days ago..."
"Tell us three interesting facts about yourself, Mr. Doyle." Said Mr. Reide.
Why did I feel like I was back in Junior High?
"Um..." Darke shifted, "I have a little sister and..." He glanced about, "My favorite holiday is..." He honestly didn't seem to know the answer, "Valentine's day and..." He frowned and his brow furrowed, making me laugh. He looked up at me and smiled sadly.
"And his birthday is on Halloween," I said from the back of the classroom.
Everyone turned to look at me and Darke put his hands together in thanks. He came back to sit by me and Mr. Reide began to review what we'd learned in our last class.
"Since when is your name Lucien?" I asked quietly.
He shrugged. "Friends back home called me Darke. Lucien means something along the line of 'light' none of them thought that it fit me much," he paused, "So everyone called me Darke."
"What about your sister? What's her name?"
He smiled and this time I didn't see any pain, this was genuine. "Her name is Charlie. She's seven. Do you have any siblings?"
I shook my head. "I'm an only child."
"It's a shame. Charlie is... brilliant. I love having a sister. Sometimes she's the only thing that keeps me going."
The image of Darke holing the gun to his head flooded into my mind and I winced, looking away. "Well... It's good to have someone helping you to..." I looked back at him, "Hold on."
He smiled. "A guardian angel."
I agreed quietly. "A guardian angel."
I grabbed my book bag and tossed it onto the grass below and jumped onto Old Oaky, climbing down. I picked up my bag, took my car keys from out of my pocket and slid into my old two door Honda Civic. I fumbled with my keys, shoving one into the ignition and pulled out onto the street.
The school wasn't far from my house. It was a large school, it had to be with the number of student. Their were four hundred students in the junior class alone, my class. The back parking lot was huge, but didn't have enough room for the entirety of the student body, the sophomores had to carpool with freshmen and their parents. It was still early so I grabbed a close parking spot and walked into the school.
The hallways were nearly empty. Only a few teachers wandered from place to place as early riser students loitered at their usual places, waiting for more of their friends to show up. I threw my bag over my shoulder and walked up the stairs on my left. I came to a familiar door and knocked quietly three times. The door opened and my mythology teacher moved aside, allowing me into the room. I walked to the back of the classroom to my usual seat and sat down.
Mr. Reide shifted his large glasses and shut the door, waddling to his desk and sitting in his swivel chair. "We have a new student today," he said to me, trying to make conversation as usual.
"Do we now?" I replied.
He nodded, running his hand through his non existent hair. He did this when he was nervous or excited. "Interesting fellow. I met him earlier this morning. Certainly not much of a talker."
"What's he like?" I asked.
He rubbed his chin. "Dark hair, green eyes. His right one was bruised you know. I asked him what happened but I don't think that he ever really told me."
I paused for a moment. It had finally dawned on me who this new student was and I stared down at my desk.
An announcement came over the intercom for Mr. Reide and he apologized, leaving me in the classroom by myself. Ten minutes went by and I suffered every second. I was frightened of what would happen next. This morning, in the shower, was that... A dream? Had I passed out? Or was it some sick vision of the future?
That's when he came in, black eye and all. His hair was neater now and he was wearing a black overcoat. His skin was surprisingly light, but not much more than my own. He had dark circles under his eyes, but the emerald hue of his eyes overruled them. His eyes were bright, but to me held darkness and sadness.
He noticed me immediately, making his way to sit next to me. "Tsuki," he said, "It's really nice to see a familiar face! Despite barely knowing you..." He chuckled hollowly.
I nodded.
"You look like you haven't slept. What time did you get home?" He asked.
"About four thirty..."
He stared at me for ages and then students began to pile into the room, distracting him. Mr. Reide came in and the bell for first period rang. Mr. Reide took attendance, which always took him forever and then called the class to order.
"Mr. Lucien will you please come introduce yourself to the class?" Mr. Reide said.
Darke nodded and stood up, walking to the front of the room. He stood there awkwardly. "My name is Lucien Doyle and I just moved here three days ago..."
"Tell us three interesting facts about yourself, Mr. Doyle." Said Mr. Reide.
Why did I feel like I was back in Junior High?
"Um..." Darke shifted, "I have a little sister and..." He glanced about, "My favorite holiday is..." He honestly didn't seem to know the answer, "Valentine's day and..." He frowned and his brow furrowed, making me laugh. He looked up at me and smiled sadly.
"And his birthday is on Halloween," I said from the back of the classroom.
Everyone turned to look at me and Darke put his hands together in thanks. He came back to sit by me and Mr. Reide began to review what we'd learned in our last class.
"Since when is your name Lucien?" I asked quietly.
He shrugged. "Friends back home called me Darke. Lucien means something along the line of 'light' none of them thought that it fit me much," he paused, "So everyone called me Darke."
"What about your sister? What's her name?"
He smiled and this time I didn't see any pain, this was genuine. "Her name is Charlie. She's seven. Do you have any siblings?"
I shook my head. "I'm an only child."
"It's a shame. Charlie is... brilliant. I love having a sister. Sometimes she's the only thing that keeps me going."
The image of Darke holing the gun to his head flooded into my mind and I winced, looking away. "Well... It's good to have someone helping you to..." I looked back at him, "Hold on."
He smiled. "A guardian angel."
I agreed quietly. "A guardian angel."
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Beautiful Disaster (Part Two)
Later that night I opened the gate to my back yard, sneaking quietly around the house, and opened the window to my basement, crawling inside. I crept up the stairs, not even wincing as the stairs creaked; my parents were not light sleepers. I went up a second flight and opened up the door on the ceiling to the attic: My room. I closed it behind me and checked my alarm clock, it was now four thirty in the morning. I pondered trying to sleep for the hour and a half of sleep I could gain from that slim amount of time, but shrugged it off. I might as well just get ready for school.
I grabbed my robe and climbed down the makeshift ladder to the lower floor and waddled sleepily to the bathroom. I undressed and stepped into the shower, turning the water on. I let the cool stream wash over me without a shiver.
My mind flashed, I suddenly felt dizzy and very ill.
The scene formed in front of me in black and white. Darke stood before me as lighting flashed. It was raining, dark. He was bent over on the street, bleeding from cuts all over. He held a gun limply in his hand and swayed toward me. I took a step back, raising my hand, realizing that I was holding a hand gun myself. He looked up at me, his eyes wild and untamed like a starved beast. He snarled at me, sharp teeth bared. My hand shook as I held the gun pointed at him. It looked to me like he was crying as he lifted his gun up to his own head. The scene went dark and a single shot rang out. From which gun, I wasn't sure.
The next thing I knew I was back in my shower, on my knees. I coughed violently, blood swimming down the drain from my lungs.
What the hell was this?
I grabbed my robe and climbed down the makeshift ladder to the lower floor and waddled sleepily to the bathroom. I undressed and stepped into the shower, turning the water on. I let the cool stream wash over me without a shiver.
My mind flashed, I suddenly felt dizzy and very ill.
The scene formed in front of me in black and white. Darke stood before me as lighting flashed. It was raining, dark. He was bent over on the street, bleeding from cuts all over. He held a gun limply in his hand and swayed toward me. I took a step back, raising my hand, realizing that I was holding a hand gun myself. He looked up at me, his eyes wild and untamed like a starved beast. He snarled at me, sharp teeth bared. My hand shook as I held the gun pointed at him. It looked to me like he was crying as he lifted his gun up to his own head. The scene went dark and a single shot rang out. From which gun, I wasn't sure.
The next thing I knew I was back in my shower, on my knees. I coughed violently, blood swimming down the drain from my lungs.
What the hell was this?
Beautiful Disaster (Part One)
It was a cold night, sometime around mid autumn. The moon shone brightly through the clouds in the sky as I walked through the dark neighborhood. It was eerily still and quiet despite the late hour. I felt like I was disturbing the stillness, but what was there to disturb? This wasn't the first time that I had taken one of these late night strolls, and it wouldn't be the last either. I turned a corner. The first few times that I went on these walks I would just wander around aimlessly, but now I knew exactly where I was headed. Most of the trees still had leaves on them, but I could still feel some shuffling beneath my feet as I walked. I noticed a car coming and ducked down behind a bush until it passed; being only sixteen I wasn't supposed to be out so late, especially on a school night. I stood there for a moment, taking in a deep breath of chilly air and then continued on my way to the park.
The park wasn't far from my house, but it was far enough that I felt like I was someplace else. When I came to the fence it didn't take a whole lot of effort to climb over it as I had many times before. There was a single light next to the playground and benches maybe thirty feet away from the swings for picnics in the summer. I climbed up the stairs on the playground, making my way up to the slides. I jumped ontop of the cover over the tallest one and perched there, staring up at the moon.
I smiled quietly, this seemed to be the only time when I felt comfortable. At night, here alone. There were only a few days until the full moon, but the moon was full enough to make the night seem bright. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath of fresh, cold air.
"Enjoying yourself?" It was a male voice from below me.
I nearly jumped, having to grab onto the slide to keep from falling. I shook from the shock of it and jumped down.
"Who are you?" I asked quietly. I wasn't sure if it was because of the cold, but my voice shook.
"Shouldn't I be asking you the same question?" I turned to where the voice was coming from. I could only see his outline. He was standing under the playground, ducking down slightly so as to not hit his head, covered by shadow.
I stayed silent, holding my ground. I heard him sigh slightly and he came out from under the platform and stood before me. His hair was disheveled and he had a black eye. He was taller than me, by a lot more than just a few inches and ten times more muscular. I was taken aback for a moment. I knew everyone around here and he didn't look familiar at all. He came closer, but I didn't step away. His hair was dark, maybe brown or black and his eyes looked green from what I could see. He was certainly handsome.
"I just moved here. My name's Darke." He said, his voice was soft but strong. I stayed quiet, not quite sure what to say. He held his hand out, prompting me to shake it. I stared blankly at him. He had introduced himself to me, but he was still a stranger.
He waited a few moments then dropped his hand. "Do you go on late night walks often? I'm sure that's not as safe for a girl as pretty as you."
I instinctively took a step back and he realized what he'd said wrong.
"Oh! Heh. I'm sorry. I didn't think before I spoke. I didn't mean to say that I was going to harm you or anything. I was just hoping to make a friend... You see, I start school here tomorrow and-"
"Wait. How old are you?" I asked, cutting him off.
"I'm sixteen. I turn seventeen last day of this month." He replied, obviously not caring that I'd cut him off.
"You're birthday's on Halloween?" I took a step closer now, feeling more comfortable.
He laughed, but somehow it felt hollow. "Afraid so. But I feel strange telling you this without even knowing your name."
I'd forgotten that I hadn't told him. "It's Tsuki."
"It's nice to meet you, Tsuki."
I nodded quietly and he reached out his hand again. This time I took it. I felt a strange surge go through me and immediately let go. Something told me that something wasn't right, but I still felt drawn to him. I heard him shudder just as I had and I stumbled backwards.
"I-I should go!" I said, spinning around and jogging away.
"Wait!" He called out. I stopped against my better judgement, not turning back around.
"Meet me here tomorrow, about the same time?" He asked.
I didn't reply, I just continued to jog away.
The park wasn't far from my house, but it was far enough that I felt like I was someplace else. When I came to the fence it didn't take a whole lot of effort to climb over it as I had many times before. There was a single light next to the playground and benches maybe thirty feet away from the swings for picnics in the summer. I climbed up the stairs on the playground, making my way up to the slides. I jumped ontop of the cover over the tallest one and perched there, staring up at the moon.
I smiled quietly, this seemed to be the only time when I felt comfortable. At night, here alone. There were only a few days until the full moon, but the moon was full enough to make the night seem bright. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath of fresh, cold air.
"Enjoying yourself?" It was a male voice from below me.
I nearly jumped, having to grab onto the slide to keep from falling. I shook from the shock of it and jumped down.
"Who are you?" I asked quietly. I wasn't sure if it was because of the cold, but my voice shook.
"Shouldn't I be asking you the same question?" I turned to where the voice was coming from. I could only see his outline. He was standing under the playground, ducking down slightly so as to not hit his head, covered by shadow.
I stayed silent, holding my ground. I heard him sigh slightly and he came out from under the platform and stood before me. His hair was disheveled and he had a black eye. He was taller than me, by a lot more than just a few inches and ten times more muscular. I was taken aback for a moment. I knew everyone around here and he didn't look familiar at all. He came closer, but I didn't step away. His hair was dark, maybe brown or black and his eyes looked green from what I could see. He was certainly handsome.
"I just moved here. My name's Darke." He said, his voice was soft but strong. I stayed quiet, not quite sure what to say. He held his hand out, prompting me to shake it. I stared blankly at him. He had introduced himself to me, but he was still a stranger.
He waited a few moments then dropped his hand. "Do you go on late night walks often? I'm sure that's not as safe for a girl as pretty as you."
I instinctively took a step back and he realized what he'd said wrong.
"Oh! Heh. I'm sorry. I didn't think before I spoke. I didn't mean to say that I was going to harm you or anything. I was just hoping to make a friend... You see, I start school here tomorrow and-"
"Wait. How old are you?" I asked, cutting him off.
"I'm sixteen. I turn seventeen last day of this month." He replied, obviously not caring that I'd cut him off.
"You're birthday's on Halloween?" I took a step closer now, feeling more comfortable.
He laughed, but somehow it felt hollow. "Afraid so. But I feel strange telling you this without even knowing your name."
I'd forgotten that I hadn't told him. "It's Tsuki."
"It's nice to meet you, Tsuki."
I nodded quietly and he reached out his hand again. This time I took it. I felt a strange surge go through me and immediately let go. Something told me that something wasn't right, but I still felt drawn to him. I heard him shudder just as I had and I stumbled backwards.
"I-I should go!" I said, spinning around and jogging away.
"Wait!" He called out. I stopped against my better judgement, not turning back around.
"Meet me here tomorrow, about the same time?" He asked.
I didn't reply, I just continued to jog away.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Dear Friend Of Mine
Dear Friend of Mine,
Why do you hold on so tightly the darkness within and without? Oh Broken Child, you have all you need to shine shine through the darkness that surrounds your life, you just need to let go. Dearest friend of mine, why do you dwell so on the sorrows on the past when all we have left is the beginning of the future?
Oh my Broken Friend, you love him with all the pieces of your heart, a naive little boy that you hope will save you, all he's done is hurt you. I've done all I can to help, but all you've done is try to push me farther and farther away from you.
Shun me, hurt me, love me Dearest Friend of Mine... whatever makes you feel better. Every night before I dream I pray and plead to God to save you, for I fear that one day you will take your own life. Oh my Wilted Rose, where would we be then?
Dearest Broken Friend of Mine, you have yet to shine, as I know you should. The world would be lost without its brightest star to guide it.
Why do you hold on so tightly the darkness within and without? Oh Broken Child, you have all you need to shine shine through the darkness that surrounds your life, you just need to let go. Dearest friend of mine, why do you dwell so on the sorrows on the past when all we have left is the beginning of the future?
Oh my Broken Friend, you love him with all the pieces of your heart, a naive little boy that you hope will save you, all he's done is hurt you. I've done all I can to help, but all you've done is try to push me farther and farther away from you.
Shun me, hurt me, love me Dearest Friend of Mine... whatever makes you feel better. Every night before I dream I pray and plead to God to save you, for I fear that one day you will take your own life. Oh my Wilted Rose, where would we be then?
Dearest Broken Friend of Mine, you have yet to shine, as I know you should. The world would be lost without its brightest star to guide it.
Love and Hope from your Dear Friend,
A.S.H.
Note: I wrote this in the middle of the night for a friend that's going through a terrible time. I only wish her the best and hope that somehow I can give her hope. I've tried everything I can to help her, but nothing has helped. She's on the edge, ready to jump, and the only thing that can really save her is a boy that she doesn't really even know if he cares. He's hurt her so much, I hope that he makes it up to her someday.
I love you dearest friend of mine.
I'd love to see you shine someday.
A.S.H.
Note: I wrote this in the middle of the night for a friend that's going through a terrible time. I only wish her the best and hope that somehow I can give her hope. I've tried everything I can to help her, but nothing has helped. She's on the edge, ready to jump, and the only thing that can really save her is a boy that she doesn't really even know if he cares. He's hurt her so much, I hope that he makes it up to her someday.
I love you dearest friend of mine.
I'd love to see you shine someday.
Chronicles On A Dance Floor: Jess (Part 3)
Billy wandered away with someone I didn't recognize, leaving me in the center of the dance floor all alone. I sighed and searched for Charlie among the crowd.
That's when I saw him.
James was standing at the bar with his hand on the waist of a girl that I have never met before. He smiled at her, his eyes practically undressing her right in front of me. My heart froze and I spun around.
Why am I here?
I looked back where he was standing, but he was gone now. I stumbled to the bar, throwing some bills onto the counter.
"Give me the best you got!" I shouted over the music at the bartender. He nodded and poured me a shot, which I drank in one swallow. "Another!" He poured me a second and I drank it down just as I had the first.
I stepped away from the bar and stared at all the overdone faces as they danced. Why are some girls so naive? I couldn't see Billy or Charlie anywhere and I was--
Oh my God, there's those eyes again. Was it just me or was he now looking right at me? He was dancing with the same girl from earlier, kissing her every now and again while I stood there and stared.
Why am I here?
I turned around, faking indifference and I walked back onto the dance floor, swaying to the music wildly by myself. I just wanted to dance, I didn't want to think of him anymore. He could never be mine. I was indifferent to him. I could feel my body edging towards the door, but instead I returned to dancing.
I'm indifferent, let me go. I couldn't let him win. I wasn't done pretending yet, I was never done pretending yet.
Never mind a heart that's broken, right?
I resumed my search for Charlie and Billy, hoping to fight his hold on me. I wandered around a bit before I found her.
Charlie was laying in a puddle of her own leftovers next to the far wall. I rushed to help her.
Why am I here? I have nothing for him now.
I have nothing for you now.
That's when I saw him.
James was standing at the bar with his hand on the waist of a girl that I have never met before. He smiled at her, his eyes practically undressing her right in front of me. My heart froze and I spun around.
Why am I here?
I looked back where he was standing, but he was gone now. I stumbled to the bar, throwing some bills onto the counter.
"Give me the best you got!" I shouted over the music at the bartender. He nodded and poured me a shot, which I drank in one swallow. "Another!" He poured me a second and I drank it down just as I had the first.
I stepped away from the bar and stared at all the overdone faces as they danced. Why are some girls so naive? I couldn't see Billy or Charlie anywhere and I was--
Oh my God, there's those eyes again. Was it just me or was he now looking right at me? He was dancing with the same girl from earlier, kissing her every now and again while I stood there and stared.
Why am I here?
I turned around, faking indifference and I walked back onto the dance floor, swaying to the music wildly by myself. I just wanted to dance, I didn't want to think of him anymore. He could never be mine. I was indifferent to him. I could feel my body edging towards the door, but instead I returned to dancing.
I'm indifferent, let me go. I couldn't let him win. I wasn't done pretending yet, I was never done pretending yet.
Never mind a heart that's broken, right?
I resumed my search for Charlie and Billy, hoping to fight his hold on me. I wandered around a bit before I found her.
Charlie was laying in a puddle of her own leftovers next to the far wall. I rushed to help her.
Why am I here? I have nothing for him now.
I have nothing for you now.
Chronicles On A Dance Floor: Charlie (Part Two)
What the hell am I doing here?
The lights were dim and the room seemed smokey. The music was blaring and the whole room seemed to be moving together with the beat. Too many strangers danced around me, all of the, seemed to be enjoying themselves, while I felt completely lost.
I don't belong here.
I looked around desperately, trying to find my way out, but the lights were flashing, it was dark, and there were far too many people. I found it hard to breathe, I couldn't think straight. I just needed out before I fell apart.
I pushed past a few people and someone grabbed my hand from behind me. I turned around and he pulled me toward him. His sapphire eyes glowed in the darkness, drawing me in. The whole room seemed to slow down and the music was barely audible. He said my name softly, with such a longing that I stopped breathing. He let go of my hand and brought his up to touch my face, sending an electrical current through me. I found myself leaning into him, feeling his icy breath on my lips. I inhaled, coming closer to kissing him. I could almost taste it.
No.
I turned away from him before our lips touched, the room sped up and the music got louder. I rushed away from him, breaking inside. Someone bumped me, nearly knocking me over. I stumbled and pushed her into someone else. She raged, screaming things at me that I couldn't hear over the sirens in my head. She threw a fist at me but missed; I didn't. She bent over in pain while her friends rushed to help her.
I don't belong here.
I walked away the best I could and lent on the nearest wall for support. The whole room was spinning violently, my stomach lurched and what was left inside me was now on the floor.
I felt dizzy, empty, and I greeted the darkness of unconsciousness and I met the floor.
The lights were dim and the room seemed smokey. The music was blaring and the whole room seemed to be moving together with the beat. Too many strangers danced around me, all of the, seemed to be enjoying themselves, while I felt completely lost.
I don't belong here.
I looked around desperately, trying to find my way out, but the lights were flashing, it was dark, and there were far too many people. I found it hard to breathe, I couldn't think straight. I just needed out before I fell apart.
I pushed past a few people and someone grabbed my hand from behind me. I turned around and he pulled me toward him. His sapphire eyes glowed in the darkness, drawing me in. The whole room seemed to slow down and the music was barely audible. He said my name softly, with such a longing that I stopped breathing. He let go of my hand and brought his up to touch my face, sending an electrical current through me. I found myself leaning into him, feeling his icy breath on my lips. I inhaled, coming closer to kissing him. I could almost taste it.
No.
I turned away from him before our lips touched, the room sped up and the music got louder. I rushed away from him, breaking inside. Someone bumped me, nearly knocking me over. I stumbled and pushed her into someone else. She raged, screaming things at me that I couldn't hear over the sirens in my head. She threw a fist at me but missed; I didn't. She bent over in pain while her friends rushed to help her.
I don't belong here.
I walked away the best I could and lent on the nearest wall for support. The whole room was spinning violently, my stomach lurched and what was left inside me was now on the floor.
I felt dizzy, empty, and I greeted the darkness of unconsciousness and I met the floor.
Chronicles On A Dance Floor: Billy (Part 1)
It was girls night out and we walked into my favorite club. I was stressed and this was just the antidote that I needed. I immediately met the eyes of a handsome stranger and smiled to myself. I wasn't really looking for someone, I just wanted to dance, but I was drawn to him.
"C'mon, Jess! Let's go dance!" Jess nodded half heartily. She and Charlie followed me onto the dance floor.
I began to dance, part of me showing off. Jess followed suit, but Charlie just stood there. I tried my best to get lost in the music, but I couldn't help but get distracted by the gaze of my stranger.
"I'm going to get something to drink!" Charlie hollered over the music and she walked away through the crowd.
I knew that Charlie was uncomfortable being here and she looked like she was going to be sick, but at the moment I just didn't care. He was coming toward me.
I knew he'd come around. He took my hand, neither of us saying a word, and led me away from Jess, leaving her standing there alone. We started to dance, my heart beating faster as he moved closer, as he put his hands around my waist.
We danced together, the two of us connected. I didn't even know him, but I didn't give a damn what anyone else was thinking. He was the only thing making sense to me.
I felt so alive and my heart matched the swift beat of the music. My blood was on fire and I could feel him running through my veins. One look into his eyes and I knew what he was thinking. Neither of us wanted to stop dancing, I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted this to go one forever. No one ever made me feel this was before. Every time he touched me I wanted to disappear inside of him. I wanted to live him, breathe him, be him.
What a perfect stranger. What a perfect dance. He held me close, and we danced as one. There was no one else. Me, him, and the music. Nothing else mattered anymore.
He stopped suddenly, putting both hands on the sides of my face. His eyes searched mine for a single moment and then he kissed me.
"C'mon, Jess! Let's go dance!" Jess nodded half heartily. She and Charlie followed me onto the dance floor.
I began to dance, part of me showing off. Jess followed suit, but Charlie just stood there. I tried my best to get lost in the music, but I couldn't help but get distracted by the gaze of my stranger.
"I'm going to get something to drink!" Charlie hollered over the music and she walked away through the crowd.
I knew that Charlie was uncomfortable being here and she looked like she was going to be sick, but at the moment I just didn't care. He was coming toward me.
I knew he'd come around. He took my hand, neither of us saying a word, and led me away from Jess, leaving her standing there alone. We started to dance, my heart beating faster as he moved closer, as he put his hands around my waist.
We danced together, the two of us connected. I didn't even know him, but I didn't give a damn what anyone else was thinking. He was the only thing making sense to me.
I felt so alive and my heart matched the swift beat of the music. My blood was on fire and I could feel him running through my veins. One look into his eyes and I knew what he was thinking. Neither of us wanted to stop dancing, I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted this to go one forever. No one ever made me feel this was before. Every time he touched me I wanted to disappear inside of him. I wanted to live him, breathe him, be him.
What a perfect stranger. What a perfect dance. He held me close, and we danced as one. There was no one else. Me, him, and the music. Nothing else mattered anymore.
He stopped suddenly, putting both hands on the sides of my face. His eyes searched mine for a single moment and then he kissed me.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
First Time
His smile was wide as he motioned for me to follow him. I stepped over another branch, but tripped and he caught me just in time.
"I should have known better to take you someplace so... dangerous." He laughed, teasing me.
I remained quiet, moving away from his grasp and looking around. Why had he taken me someplace so far from home and surrounded by trees... especially so late? It wasn't quite sunset yet, but it'd be dark by the time that we had to make our way back down the mountain and I wasn't looking forward to that. It was mid autumn and the ground was scattered with leaves of all shades, the sky nearly covered by a canvas of colorful trees above me... I stood there for a few minutes.
"We have to hurry," he said absent mindedly, "We have to make it before sunset."
I stared at him blankly, then looked around again.
"If you think that this is beautiful, then you haven't seen anything yet." His voice was deep, strong, but musical at the same time. I had to look down at my feet to keep from blushing.
He reached out his hand and I looked up. His blue eyes shone, even though we were shaded by the canopy of trees. His dark brown hair was messy and I ignored his hand, reaching up to fix it.
He rolled his eyes at me, took my hand away from his face, and held it as he led me even farther up the mountain.
"Just a little farther now..."
I nodded, despite the fact that I knew that he couldn't see me. He guided me past more trees, farther and farther toward the sky, holdng my hand the entire way. At one point he stopped, letting go of my hand and facing me.
"Close your eyes. I'll carry you the rest of the way."
I just stood there for a moment, looking into his eyes. Where are you taking me, I asked silently. He smiled reassuringly and swept me up into his strong, but soft arms. I was surprisingly comfortable and rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes.
I don't know if I drifted off then or if I had lost myself in some other world, but the next thing I knew he was saying my name quietly, bringing me back. I opened my eyes and found myself looking up into his. He said that it would be beautiful, he was right.
"We're here," he whispered, looking up ahead.
I followed his gaze to the wonderous view before us. He set me down on my feet and I took a step forward, letting it all soak in. The sun was setting over the valley. I could see the entire city from where we stood. Small houses and businesses, lawns and beautiful trees getting ready to greet the bitter softness of winter. I smiled at how thoughtful he was, to bring me to a secret place as wonderful as this. I turned to look at him, to show him how happy I was... He was smiling back at me. He sat down on a boulder, patted next to him, asking me to sit. I wandered over, taking my place next to him on the boulder.
"You like it?"
I nodded, but I knew that I didn't really have to answer. I looked back over the valley and watched as the sun fled and the moon rose, in awe by it's beauty. All the lights came on then, reminding me of the stars that shone brightly above. I turned to him, realizing that he was looking at me. I looked away, I could feel the blush on my face, could he see it?
"I love you." I said quietly, as if it were a secret.
He reached out his hand, turning my face towards him. He lent in, paused for a moment that seemed like forever, then kissed me.
A moment that I wished could last forever. A moment that will survive in my heart until the end of time. My first kiss, my first love.
"I should have known better to take you someplace so... dangerous." He laughed, teasing me.
I remained quiet, moving away from his grasp and looking around. Why had he taken me someplace so far from home and surrounded by trees... especially so late? It wasn't quite sunset yet, but it'd be dark by the time that we had to make our way back down the mountain and I wasn't looking forward to that. It was mid autumn and the ground was scattered with leaves of all shades, the sky nearly covered by a canvas of colorful trees above me... I stood there for a few minutes.
"We have to hurry," he said absent mindedly, "We have to make it before sunset."
I stared at him blankly, then looked around again.
"If you think that this is beautiful, then you haven't seen anything yet." His voice was deep, strong, but musical at the same time. I had to look down at my feet to keep from blushing.
He reached out his hand and I looked up. His blue eyes shone, even though we were shaded by the canopy of trees. His dark brown hair was messy and I ignored his hand, reaching up to fix it.
He rolled his eyes at me, took my hand away from his face, and held it as he led me even farther up the mountain.
"Just a little farther now..."
I nodded, despite the fact that I knew that he couldn't see me. He guided me past more trees, farther and farther toward the sky, holdng my hand the entire way. At one point he stopped, letting go of my hand and facing me.
"Close your eyes. I'll carry you the rest of the way."
I just stood there for a moment, looking into his eyes. Where are you taking me, I asked silently. He smiled reassuringly and swept me up into his strong, but soft arms. I was surprisingly comfortable and rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes.
I don't know if I drifted off then or if I had lost myself in some other world, but the next thing I knew he was saying my name quietly, bringing me back. I opened my eyes and found myself looking up into his. He said that it would be beautiful, he was right.
"We're here," he whispered, looking up ahead.
I followed his gaze to the wonderous view before us. He set me down on my feet and I took a step forward, letting it all soak in. The sun was setting over the valley. I could see the entire city from where we stood. Small houses and businesses, lawns and beautiful trees getting ready to greet the bitter softness of winter. I smiled at how thoughtful he was, to bring me to a secret place as wonderful as this. I turned to look at him, to show him how happy I was... He was smiling back at me. He sat down on a boulder, patted next to him, asking me to sit. I wandered over, taking my place next to him on the boulder.
"You like it?"
I nodded, but I knew that I didn't really have to answer. I looked back over the valley and watched as the sun fled and the moon rose, in awe by it's beauty. All the lights came on then, reminding me of the stars that shone brightly above. I turned to him, realizing that he was looking at me. I looked away, I could feel the blush on my face, could he see it?
"I love you." I said quietly, as if it were a secret.
He reached out his hand, turning my face towards him. He lent in, paused for a moment that seemed like forever, then kissed me.
A moment that I wished could last forever. A moment that will survive in my heart until the end of time. My first kiss, my first love.
... Me?
Hard to believe, the way that things have changed.
I find it difficult to explain when my life really began. Was it the day that I was born from my mother's womb, or the day that I saw true beauty in another's eyes? I'm a simple girl, always have been. I've decided now that I'm this ways to give those that I love hope that maybe someday things will get better. Maybe my life began the day that I met my best friend, when life as I knew it would be turned upside down, inside out, and utterly insane.
She was unlike anyone I'd ever seen before; tall, beautiful, but she held herself in a way that showed that she was unsure of herself. Her eyes were a bright emerald green, it was apparent to me almost immediately that behind those eyes were hidden scars unlike any I had ever seen before. Her skin was porclein white, smooth and without any blemish. Her dark hair was short, but covered the bulk of her face, she was always trying to hide.
I was immediately drawn to her, almost overtaken by the need to comfort her. She was terribly beautiful, with an air of disaster, of darkness.
The first time I ever saw her I found it hard to speak. What could I say? I've only just met this person, this person that I so hoped that I could befriend, this person who was so real, so fragile, and so close to breaking... What could I do?
She looked down on me, not in a bad way... I couldn't help being so much smaller.
All I did that day was smile, and obviously that was what was right.
Ever since that day we've spent almost every moment we could together. We made memories, laughed, and cried together. I was the bright innocent one who didn't know pain, she was just the opposite. She intoduced me to amazing people, who I befriended almost immediately. Her and all her friends were so brilliant, they shone like stars while all I could do is stand there and take it all in.
I like to draw, she said to me one day.
I love photography, she said another.
I write, I read, I sing.
She always kept me captivated with something new.
All her friends were the same, just as talented, but in wonderfully different ways.
Did I deserve to be here, was the thought that always crossed my mind. Do I deserve such incredible people as my friends? I couldn't draw, I couldn't write, I couldn't sing... But they always said that I might.
The four of us were so different.
Be still we stay together.
These three are my friends.
"Friends," they say.
Hopefully, "Friends forever."
Aurora: Beautful, but broken. The link that keeps us all together.
Nova: Talented and different. The one that will keep us trying.
Lulu: Fun and Beaming. The ever shining light that keeps us smiling.
And Finally...
Alyce: ... Me?
I find it difficult to explain when my life really began. Was it the day that I was born from my mother's womb, or the day that I saw true beauty in another's eyes? I'm a simple girl, always have been. I've decided now that I'm this ways to give those that I love hope that maybe someday things will get better. Maybe my life began the day that I met my best friend, when life as I knew it would be turned upside down, inside out, and utterly insane.
She was unlike anyone I'd ever seen before; tall, beautiful, but she held herself in a way that showed that she was unsure of herself. Her eyes were a bright emerald green, it was apparent to me almost immediately that behind those eyes were hidden scars unlike any I had ever seen before. Her skin was porclein white, smooth and without any blemish. Her dark hair was short, but covered the bulk of her face, she was always trying to hide.
I was immediately drawn to her, almost overtaken by the need to comfort her. She was terribly beautiful, with an air of disaster, of darkness.
The first time I ever saw her I found it hard to speak. What could I say? I've only just met this person, this person that I so hoped that I could befriend, this person who was so real, so fragile, and so close to breaking... What could I do?
She looked down on me, not in a bad way... I couldn't help being so much smaller.
All I did that day was smile, and obviously that was what was right.
Ever since that day we've spent almost every moment we could together. We made memories, laughed, and cried together. I was the bright innocent one who didn't know pain, she was just the opposite. She intoduced me to amazing people, who I befriended almost immediately. Her and all her friends were so brilliant, they shone like stars while all I could do is stand there and take it all in.
I like to draw, she said to me one day.
I love photography, she said another.
I write, I read, I sing.
She always kept me captivated with something new.
All her friends were the same, just as talented, but in wonderfully different ways.
Did I deserve to be here, was the thought that always crossed my mind. Do I deserve such incredible people as my friends? I couldn't draw, I couldn't write, I couldn't sing... But they always said that I might.
The four of us were so different.
Be still we stay together.
These three are my friends.
"Friends," they say.
Hopefully, "Friends forever."
Aurora: Beautful, but broken. The link that keeps us all together.
Nova: Talented and different. The one that will keep us trying.
Lulu: Fun and Beaming. The ever shining light that keeps us smiling.
And Finally...
Alyce: ... Me?
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Way It Is
Current Mood: To different to describe well. Hyper, but a little quiet & depressed.
The Way It Is:
Alyce
Always second best, sometimes not even that close. People change, they learn to smile when they're crying on the inside... Since I've learned to do this I haven't been myself, or maybe this is more of myself. I suppose that I'll figure it out as more time goes on.
Exiled;
No one knows my name.
Gypsy;
No one sees past my skin.
Bohemienne;
They call me sorceress, witch. They don't know what they're saying.
Traveler;
A stranger in my own home.
Bewitcher;
Not to me trusted.
Enchantress;
Nothing but a mistress.
They say that cold, black blood like that of a winter's night runs through my veins...
I. Still. Bleed.
Bleed for those that are like me
Strangers in there own skin, living their lives in their own secret sin.
Who am I, I who is not like them?
I'm not so different.
But I'm not the same.
Scars beneath my skin
Tears behind my eyes
I smile and dance
True beauty believed to be nothing but lies.
I am not an enchantress.
I am not a witch.
I'm a gypsy off to see the world
And there's quite a lot of world to see.
I have no idea what that was. Random thoughts that tie together somehow. I suppose that it comes with my obsession with gypsies after reading the A Great and Terrible Beauty series and watching Notre Dame de Paris.
Currently Listening To:
Bohemienne - Helene Segara from Notre Dame de Paris
The Way It Is:
Alyce
Always second best, sometimes not even that close. People change, they learn to smile when they're crying on the inside... Since I've learned to do this I haven't been myself, or maybe this is more of myself. I suppose that I'll figure it out as more time goes on.
Exiled;
No one knows my name.
Gypsy;
No one sees past my skin.
Bohemienne;
They call me sorceress, witch. They don't know what they're saying.
Traveler;
A stranger in my own home.
Bewitcher;
Not to me trusted.
Enchantress;
Nothing but a mistress.
They say that cold, black blood like that of a winter's night runs through my veins...
I. Still. Bleed.
Bleed for those that are like me
Strangers in there own skin, living their lives in their own secret sin.
Who am I, I who is not like them?
I'm not so different.
But I'm not the same.
Scars beneath my skin
Tears behind my eyes
I smile and dance
True beauty believed to be nothing but lies.
I am not an enchantress.
I am not a witch.
I'm a gypsy off to see the world
And there's quite a lot of world to see.
I have no idea what that was. Random thoughts that tie together somehow. I suppose that it comes with my obsession with gypsies after reading the A Great and Terrible Beauty series and watching Notre Dame de Paris.
Currently Listening To:
Bohemienne - Helene Segara from Notre Dame de Paris
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Only Fooling Myself
Current Mood: Fading
Wow. I was all expecting things to get better, but they only got worse. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't concentrate on school at all and it seems like the world wants me to spend all my time by myself... Well. That was the beginning of last week and all of last week, as for right now things are a little bit better, and the high from Bingham Ball has kept me going... So... Yes.
Like homework and cleaning my room. These things need some SERIOUS attention. XD
What else to say? My family is having a small Thanksgiving this year. Just my Grams from my mom's side, my mom, my dad, and my brother. That's it. I can't even express how happy I am about this. The last few years my dads side of the family has come over, and none of them like me... So this is a thousand times better. I still have to go to my aunt's house for a few hours after dinner, but I can deal with a short bit of torture. :)
Christmas is coming up so I'm pretty ecstatic. My mom's side of the family comes over on Christmas Eve and it's always a ton of fun and hyperness that I really enjoy. They're all older than me, but somehow I deal with that better than my somewhat immature cousins on my dad's side. I also have second cousins on my moms side that are still toddlers and hence very much fun to play with. :D
I'm happy that I don't sound very depressing this time, must be a good sign. :P
I've been really sick. I get these random stomach aches out of nowhere that make me want to explode and implode all at once. They hurt like hell, but in between them I feel perfectly fine. It's strange. I wish that I could go to a doctor, but as of right now we don't have health insurance... Stupid economy and job losses.
Hot N Cold is pretty funny. I love Katy Perry. She's hilarious. You either love her or hate her, there's really no gray area there.
School Musical = So much cooler than High School Musical. Better acting AND voices.
Maybe if I had magical powers... Not that she does... But maybe she does... Does she? Wow. I do sound insane.
Now I'm just rambling. I'm never able to just stick to one subject. Darn. I do the same things in my journals for English... At least my teacher doesn't read them.
Anyway...
Buh-bye for now.
Until We Meet Again Under The Blue Moon,
Alyce
Currently Listening To:
Only Fooling Myself - Kate Voegele
Wow. I was all expecting things to get better, but they only got worse. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't concentrate on school at all and it seems like the world wants me to spend all my time by myself... Well. That was the beginning of last week and all of last week, as for right now things are a little bit better, and the high from Bingham Ball has kept me going... So... Yes.
Like homework and cleaning my room. These things need some SERIOUS attention. XD
What else to say? My family is having a small Thanksgiving this year. Just my Grams from my mom's side, my mom, my dad, and my brother. That's it. I can't even express how happy I am about this. The last few years my dads side of the family has come over, and none of them like me... So this is a thousand times better. I still have to go to my aunt's house for a few hours after dinner, but I can deal with a short bit of torture. :)
Christmas is coming up so I'm pretty ecstatic. My mom's side of the family comes over on Christmas Eve and it's always a ton of fun and hyperness that I really enjoy. They're all older than me, but somehow I deal with that better than my somewhat immature cousins on my dad's side. I also have second cousins on my moms side that are still toddlers and hence very much fun to play with. :D
I'm happy that I don't sound very depressing this time, must be a good sign. :P
I've been really sick. I get these random stomach aches out of nowhere that make me want to explode and implode all at once. They hurt like hell, but in between them I feel perfectly fine. It's strange. I wish that I could go to a doctor, but as of right now we don't have health insurance... Stupid economy and job losses.
Hot N Cold is pretty funny. I love Katy Perry. She's hilarious. You either love her or hate her, there's really no gray area there.
School Musical = So much cooler than High School Musical. Better acting AND voices.
Maybe if I had magical powers... Not that she does... But maybe she does... Does she? Wow. I do sound insane.
Now I'm just rambling. I'm never able to just stick to one subject. Darn. I do the same things in my journals for English... At least my teacher doesn't read them.
Anyway...
Buh-bye for now.
Until We Meet Again Under The Blue Moon,
Alyce
Currently Listening To:
Only Fooling Myself - Kate Voegele
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A Creature
Note: This was written quite some time ago. Due to technical issues it failed to post. So... here it is now. :P
Current Mood: Conflicted
Okay.
A heart to heart here, yes?
Not that anyone besides Rachel is paying much attention, but that makes things easier. Haha.
I'm only human. Sometimes everyone expects me to do more.
It snowed today. I didn't admit it to anyone, but I rather enjoyed it. Snow washes everything away. A new beginning is what we all need.
I wrote a poem and showed it to a few of my friends... It was my scream for help... No one really realized it. I just wanted somebody to ask, "Hey, Alyce. Are you okay?"
BTW, Rachel, not you. You've been amazingly nice lately. Again, thank you. And good luck with trying harder. I think that I might try a little bit harder too.
Here's my poem.
A Creature
Step, left.
Hello.
Step, right.
How’re you?
Step, smile.
A small creature goes through the motions
A small creature that is broken.
Step, nod.
Still, pause.
Stand, listen.
A creature cries
She’s lost
She longs to love
“All I can be is me.” She whispers.
Strangers pass by, weary.
Always weary.
She longs to be loved.
Step, shake.
Step, turn.
Sit, stand.
How can someone love something that can’t be found?
A creature, still.
A creature, always.
A creature lost and a creature broken.
“All I can be is me!” She shouts.
Still unheard.
A terribly beautiful creature.
A beautifully terrible girl.
Step, smile.
Step, laugh.
Hollow and Hidden.
“All I can be is me!”
She screams at her strangers.
“Which just happens to be an act.”
Sit.
Stand.
Wave.
Good-bye.
Turn, walk away.
An indifferent creature.
An indifferent girl.
By: Alyce Shayne Heart
A.S.H.
There it is... And yes, I do see myself as the Creature, as the Girl. Maybe not with quite as many issues, I exaggerated a bit, but I feel like there's a lot of people who go through these types of emotions. I had to write about it.
Anyway...
My mom will realize that I've been on the computer for ever and get mad, so I must "Go to Bed." Haha. I spend a lot of time just sitting there. Maybe I should count sheep! I love sheep! They're so cute and so fluffy! Um. Yeah. Lol.
Sometime I WILL review something. I must. :P
Until We Meet Again Under The Blue Moon,
Alyce
Currently Listening To:
I'd Rather Be In Love - Michelle Branch
Current Mood: Conflicted
Okay.
A heart to heart here, yes?
Not that anyone besides Rachel is paying much attention, but that makes things easier. Haha.
I'm only human. Sometimes everyone expects me to do more.
It snowed today. I didn't admit it to anyone, but I rather enjoyed it. Snow washes everything away. A new beginning is what we all need.
I wrote a poem and showed it to a few of my friends... It was my scream for help... No one really realized it. I just wanted somebody to ask, "Hey, Alyce. Are you okay?"
BTW, Rachel, not you. You've been amazingly nice lately. Again, thank you. And good luck with trying harder. I think that I might try a little bit harder too.
Here's my poem.
A Creature
Step, left.
Hello.
Step, right.
How’re you?
Step, smile.
A small creature goes through the motions
A small creature that is broken.
Step, nod.
Still, pause.
Stand, listen.
A creature cries
She’s lost
She longs to love
“All I can be is me.” She whispers.
Strangers pass by, weary.
Always weary.
She longs to be loved.
Step, shake.
Step, turn.
Sit, stand.
How can someone love something that can’t be found?
A creature, still.
A creature, always.
A creature lost and a creature broken.
“All I can be is me!” She shouts.
Still unheard.
A terribly beautiful creature.
A beautifully terrible girl.
Step, smile.
Step, laugh.
Hollow and Hidden.
“All I can be is me!”
She screams at her strangers.
“Which just happens to be an act.”
Sit.
Stand.
Wave.
Good-bye.
Turn, walk away.
An indifferent creature.
An indifferent girl.
By: Alyce Shayne Heart
A.S.H.
There it is... And yes, I do see myself as the Creature, as the Girl. Maybe not with quite as many issues, I exaggerated a bit, but I feel like there's a lot of people who go through these types of emotions. I had to write about it.
Anyway...
My mom will realize that I've been on the computer for ever and get mad, so I must "Go to Bed." Haha. I spend a lot of time just sitting there. Maybe I should count sheep! I love sheep! They're so cute and so fluffy! Um. Yeah. Lol.
Sometime I WILL review something. I must. :P
Until We Meet Again Under The Blue Moon,
Alyce
Currently Listening To:
I'd Rather Be In Love - Michelle Branch
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Thanks
Current Mood: Indifferent
This one goes out to Rachel who obviously read my last post and realized that I was having kind of a hard time.
THANKS A TON! I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU! ^^ It's good to have friends who care!
You too, Rachael. :P
Where to begin... Where to begin.
So I finally asked my friend David to Bingham Ball and he said yes! I honestly think that he's more excited than I am. Hehe.
I think that I'm finally over the whole, um... AT thing. Killing him wouldn't help anything. He's semi-forgiven. All this because he smiled at me and actually said something when I spoke to him. (Ha. Ha.) I just hope that he'll learn from this and not do something like it again. Besides, I have better things to waste my energy on than giving him the stink eye.
I've been sick recently and my mood keeps going up and down, like I'm bipolar or something. Somehow it seems like when I just sit around and do nothing is when I'm the most secure, so I haven't really been out much. I just need to relax for awhile, I'm sick of drama. Ha. I sound so... Prep or something. Oh, well. I honestly don't care that much. I'm trying really hard to just concentrate on one subject for awhile... I'm feeling my mind jump from place to place.
Now right here for the whole world to see...
I've been hooked on Fable II! It's FANTASTIC! I can't even begin to tell you about it...
Anyway...
I'm in writing mode.
I must right.
Currently Listening To:
Footsteps
This one goes out to Rachel who obviously read my last post and realized that I was having kind of a hard time.
THANKS A TON! I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU! ^^ It's good to have friends who care!
You too, Rachael. :P
Where to begin... Where to begin.
So I finally asked my friend David to Bingham Ball and he said yes! I honestly think that he's more excited than I am. Hehe.
I think that I'm finally over the whole, um... AT thing. Killing him wouldn't help anything. He's semi-forgiven. All this because he smiled at me and actually said something when I spoke to him. (Ha. Ha.) I just hope that he'll learn from this and not do something like it again. Besides, I have better things to waste my energy on than giving him the stink eye.
I've been sick recently and my mood keeps going up and down, like I'm bipolar or something. Somehow it seems like when I just sit around and do nothing is when I'm the most secure, so I haven't really been out much. I just need to relax for awhile, I'm sick of drama. Ha. I sound so... Prep or something. Oh, well. I honestly don't care that much. I'm trying really hard to just concentrate on one subject for awhile... I'm feeling my mind jump from place to place.
Now right here for the whole world to see...
I've been hooked on Fable II! It's FANTASTIC! I can't even begin to tell you about it...
Anyway...
I'm in writing mode.
I must right.
Currently Listening To:
Footsteps
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Masterpiece
I am no masterpiece at all.
I'm in kind of an odd state of emotion right now.
I'm stranded somewhere between depression, excitement, resentment, vengeance, nervousness, and indifference. It's strange, being able to feel so many different things at once, not being able to choose any one way to feel. There was a time when I was able to control my emotions, keep them in check, but not anymore. I'm just about as stable as our economy. (Heh, heh. Political joke.) Sometimes it takes everything I have not to just throw up my hands and scream, "Screw the world!" and go on a killing spree... Well, maybe I'd kill just one person, but somehow, as sad as it is, my life would be a lot easier without him.
Too bad I held on, when you tried to tell me this was wrong... Well, is this wrong?
I'm worried about Val, well... Really, I worry about her all the time. I'm just quite the little worry wart.
I can't even try to... remember what I knew, before I became your model to claim. No.
We've been talking about Transcendentalism in my english class and it's gotten me to thinking a bit, and I'm going to write my own way of life. (Hehe.) My own Creed. Hmm.
I decided #1 on my way to lunch today. "Make people wonder, they need the exercise."
Transcendentalism is a great thing, it's similar to the way I live now, have always lived. Funny, how things work out that way. What way? I have no idea, I just felt like saying that.
Seems as if everyone has somebody to be with but me... Maybe this sort of loneliness is what I live for. I have to be free to help everyone else. I like helping others. I do.
You're my best friend, she says. You're a horrible friend, she says. You love too easily, she says. You don't love me, she says. I'm over him. He's all I think about. He's an idiot. He's the most amazing person I've ever met. We have so much to laugh about. We have nothing in common. I forgot to tell you. You forgot what I said. I love you. I hate you. Friends forever. Not anymore.
Tell me, what is there that's worth living for? I live for you. I live for life, laughter... Love.
How can you live if the one person you care most for in the world says that you'll never be loved? Sometimes I think that I'll always love others, but not be loved in return. It's a relief when someone cares enough to even say hi... to give me a hug... to give me a compliment, no matter how small.
Is anyone even listening? I'm beginning to wonder.
I've told you everything, but you haven't heard it. The sun is there, but do we see it?
Take a glance, feel a shiver, move on. Life is selfishness. Life is always moving forward, never taking in the sights, not remembering the past for what it is.
I finally know what wrong is.
Oh. What would it feel like to smile without regretting what comes next? I'm always afraid. Always stepping carefully. One wrong movement could set off a bomb... It's happened before.
I write to feel. I write to live what I'll never really know. I am words, making up a story, a story with no ending, just a stop.
I'm making my class ring. It actually looks pretty nice. The sum should come up to a little less than four hundred... It's an expensive memory. Who knew that time would bring us to a place in our lives where we have to pay for our memories? Huh. I sound emo.
Cutting is for losers who have nothing better to do with their time and need attention.
My scars have yet to heal.
One step at a time. Letting go, holding on. It depends on how you phrase it. Texting is overrated. Dumping someone over text is a horrible thing to do... Not that it's ever happened to me. I've never even had an actual boyfriend, but that's a good thing. I doubt that I could handle it.
Step, smile. Step, smile. Laugh. Pose. Act. Move left. Right. Speak. Silence.
I am who I am, which just happens to be an act.
Now I finally know that you bleed for nothing.
I actually think like this. Random as it is. I'm just typing as it comes. I had to write a monologue for my theatre class last year, and something that my teacher said was that a lot of the time we don't think in full sentences, and some of the things that go through our heads only make sense to us... She was right.
Sometimes, after I finish a book, I think like a novel. It's during this time that I write the best.
The ocean is wide, [Insert Cheesy Quote Here.]
If you look close enough you can hear my screams as you walk away.
Emonessssssssssssssss. I want to stop sounding emo.
Something nice...
Something nice...
I'm asking a friend to Bingham Ball, I wonder if he'll say yes... Fingers crossed!
Today I wandered through the woods. They were dark, cold... Just like your heart.
Ohhhhhhhh. Buuuuuuurn.
Ur So Gay! Haha. That one's for you Val.
Anyway. My dad is behind me, not paying attention, but still...
Until we meet again under the blue moon,
Alyce
Currently Listening To:
Masterpiece - Meg & Dia
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Rachel
Current Mood: Blase
I met Rachel through Rachael and I haven't known her for as long as I've known Rachael, but long enough to know what kind of person she is. (Yes, everyone I know is in fact named Rachel. :P )
Rachel may seem odd at first, and to tell the truth I was a little frightened of her when we first met, but really she's different in a good way. You'll never find another person like her no matter how hard you look. She enjoys listening to obscure bands and singers, wearing crazy clothes, cackling at Rachael's neighbors on Halloween, and writing about characters that stalk their neighbors with cameras... (Resemblance, maybe?) She's amazing at everything she does, just like most of my friends, and enjoys doing just about everything. With an interest in fashion that includes reading Vogue and chatting to me about what Audrey Hepburn would have worn, she also has an avid interest in photography, writing, drawing, acting, singing, and surprising her friends on a daily basis.
Rachel has shown a love for comics as long as I've known her and her love of Iron Man, The Joker, Batman, and Wolverine, came as no surprise to me as this year came along.
Rachel is the type of person who despite being one of the best, always encourages you to try everything. She's inspirational, brilliant, and friendly. If you ever get a chance to meet her, you better jump at it because there's no doubt in my mind that it'll be worth your while.
Things Related to our Friendship:
Kingdom Hearts, Charmed, Resident Evil, Leon Scott Kennedy, Writing, the word "Friction", Meg & Dia, Classic Skating, Jeff, Sultry, Apples To Apples, Candles, DDR, Konichiwa Bitches, "The Book", Monster, Trees, Dawnie, Tech, Sophie, Final Fantasy, Window Washing, The Joker, Roleplaying, Reno, Audrey Hepburn, Theatre, Auditions, Chalk The Walk, Dungeons And Dragons, ... And much, much more.
Until We Meet Again Under the Blue Moon,
Alyce
My Dedicated Song:
Angry Johnny - Poe
Things change, but life goes on.
We don't want to believe that we'll lose
the ones we love
the ones who make us...
us.
Don't ever forget
Don't ever think that you aren't loved
Because no matter how far you travel
How fuzzy things get
We'll always be here in you.
We'll always love you.
Friends Forever.
Thanks, Rachel!
Note: I know that Angry Johnny as my choice is a little confusing, but it has to do with some stuff that happened in Tech in the Ninth Grade with some very afraid eighth graders.... Hehehe.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Rachael
Current Mood: Dizzy
I've known Rachael for only a few years, but we became fast friends. Becoming friends with her kind of set off this whole new era of my life that I've just now entitled "The Opened Eye, Creative Times." Without Rachael I wouldn't be the person that I am today. I've changed a lot since I've known her, and in good ways. She's one of those people that just makes you want to be better, and now... I am better.
Rachael has had quite a difficult life, things that I have no right to discuss with anyone besides her. I believe that it's because of these things that she's so sensitive to those around her. When you have a problem, she usually knows just what to say to put things into perspective.
Rachael has many talents including; Writing, Drawing, Painting, Photography, and Guitar Playin'. She succeeds at just about everything she does with such unbelievable grace that most of the time I can't help but feel a little envious.
Things Related to our Friendship:
Hearts, Resident Evil, Leon Scott Kennedy, Writing, the word "Friction", Meg & Dia, The Veronicas, Rockband, Bioshock, Condemned, Classic Skating, Silent Hill, Sultry, Apples To Apples, The Office, Friends, Kathy Griffin, Candles, DDR, Pepsi, Konichiwa Bitches, Writing, "The Book", Hook Me Up, Monster, Trees, Dawnie, Tech, Sophie, Tucker, Play N Trade... And much, much more.
Until We Meet Again Under the Blue Moon,
Alyce
My Dedicated Song:
There For You - Flyleaf
Don't ever forget what we live for.
Don't ever forget who makes you, you.
Your friends reflect who you are and what you stand for.
Your past, your future, your dreams, and all your love.
I'll never forget this feeling.
And I'll never let it go.
Someday I hope to return all you've given me, with three times as much love.
I live for you,
I live from you,
I am you.
Friends Forever.
Thanks, Rachael.
Hurt Me
Current Mood: Exhausted
I went to my old friend Melissa's house today... Strange how she can always make me feel better. I was really happy with things until her friend Rily came over. I had never met Rily until then and it made me feel awkward. I didn't mind her, I was just a bit quieter after she came. I did like her a bit, so it's not that I didn't like her... I'm just a bit shy.
After I got home at about six thirty I chased Tucker, my Cairn Terrier, around the neighborhood for about a half an hour. Now I'm tired, dehydrated, and my legs feel heavy. The interesting thing about chasing him was that only three people tried to help me, and I saw about thirty or so people. (I went pretty far, chasing him down.) The first person who helped me I recognized as Melissa's friend's Rebecca's dad. I only knew that it was him because he was walking Rebecca's dog. It's way cute! It's some sort of chihuaua mix and they got it not long after I got Tuckie. The other two people who tried to help me only did so because I was in their yard... and they had dogs... or children... Otherwise I could bet that they would have ignored me. But what really bothered me was that Tucker would run straight up to people and jump on them (He's very small) and they'd just stand there and look at him! WTF?! Why didn't they try to grab him?! Crazies! I'm, like, near tears because I'm so exhausted and I'm yelling his name and they just stand there going "Aww, what a cute doggy!" ... ANYWAY!
Now that I've ranted about that...
I've decided to start a blog series on each of my friends. A little dedication, with my "Currently Listening To" being a song dedicated to them. It'll also help me with my sort story that I'm writing about them...
It might take me awhile to get the first few up, as I want them to be as close to perfect as I can get. I'll try to see if I can include pictures and all of that good stuff.
Another thing that I'd like to do is my "Must" corner. Just information on must-sees, must-reads, and the like.
Also included... My ratings, reviews, and rants on books, artists, songs, TV shows, games, and movies.
Then just my general life.
I want these blogs to be my best yet, so you're in for quite a bumpy ride. Hehe.
Until We Meet Again Under the Blue Moon,
A.S.H.
Currently Listening To:
Hurt Me - Kerli
I went to my old friend Melissa's house today... Strange how she can always make me feel better. I was really happy with things until her friend Rily came over. I had never met Rily until then and it made me feel awkward. I didn't mind her, I was just a bit quieter after she came. I did like her a bit, so it's not that I didn't like her... I'm just a bit shy.
After I got home at about six thirty I chased Tucker, my Cairn Terrier, around the neighborhood for about a half an hour. Now I'm tired, dehydrated, and my legs feel heavy. The interesting thing about chasing him was that only three people tried to help me, and I saw about thirty or so people. (I went pretty far, chasing him down.) The first person who helped me I recognized as Melissa's friend's Rebecca's dad. I only knew that it was him because he was walking Rebecca's dog. It's way cute! It's some sort of chihuaua mix and they got it not long after I got Tuckie. The other two people who tried to help me only did so because I was in their yard... and they had dogs... or children... Otherwise I could bet that they would have ignored me. But what really bothered me was that Tucker would run straight up to people and jump on them (He's very small) and they'd just stand there and look at him! WTF?! Why didn't they try to grab him?! Crazies! I'm, like, near tears because I'm so exhausted and I'm yelling his name and they just stand there going "Aww, what a cute doggy!" ... ANYWAY!
Now that I've ranted about that...
I've decided to start a blog series on each of my friends. A little dedication, with my "Currently Listening To" being a song dedicated to them. It'll also help me with my sort story that I'm writing about them...
It might take me awhile to get the first few up, as I want them to be as close to perfect as I can get. I'll try to see if I can include pictures and all of that good stuff.
Another thing that I'd like to do is my "Must" corner. Just information on must-sees, must-reads, and the like.
Also included... My ratings, reviews, and rants on books, artists, songs, TV shows, games, and movies.
Then just my general life.
I want these blogs to be my best yet, so you're in for quite a bumpy ride. Hehe.
Until We Meet Again Under the Blue Moon,
A.S.H.
Currently Listening To:
Hurt Me - Kerli
Broken
Current Mood: Lost & Broken
Have you ever felt broken? Like there's something wrong with you, but you can't quite figure out what the problem is? I feel this way a lot, which comes as a surprise to me. I spend most of my time trying to help my friends, I mean honestly... I just don't have time for any of my own problems, good thing that I don't have many, but then why do I feel so broken?! It just doesn't make sense. Oh well, everyone is depressed over nothing every once and a while.
I'll get over it.
How can someone love something that's lost?
I recently got a Facebook account... If you can find me, then you can add me. ;)
A sequel to one of my all time favorite games is coming out in twenty five days, I'm excited! But... I'm afraid that I don't have the money to buy it. Fable II shall have to wait until I get a job, Christmas, or my birthday. Jeez... I hope that I don't have to wait until my Birthday.
Observation Of The Day:
If you smile at a stranger they'll either think it's creepy, ignore you, or smile back. More testing needed.
Currently Listening To:
Broken - Lifehouse
Have you ever felt broken? Like there's something wrong with you, but you can't quite figure out what the problem is? I feel this way a lot, which comes as a surprise to me. I spend most of my time trying to help my friends, I mean honestly... I just don't have time for any of my own problems, good thing that I don't have many, but then why do I feel so broken?! It just doesn't make sense. Oh well, everyone is depressed over nothing every once and a while.
I'll get over it.
How can someone love something that's lost?
I recently got a Facebook account... If you can find me, then you can add me. ;)
A sequel to one of my all time favorite games is coming out in twenty five days, I'm excited! But... I'm afraid that I don't have the money to buy it. Fable II shall have to wait until I get a job, Christmas, or my birthday. Jeez... I hope that I don't have to wait until my Birthday.
Observation Of The Day:
If you smile at a stranger they'll either think it's creepy, ignore you, or smile back. More testing needed.
Currently Listening To:
Broken - Lifehouse
A Look Into Whom I Trust
Original Date: Saturday, January 13, 2007
Current Mood(Then): Determined
The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars
Current Mood(Then): Determined
Heh...
I watched 13 Going on 30 again a few days ago.. I love that movie!
Last night I slept over at Rachael's house... It was fun! We were way hyper! I snuck a few Pepsi's to her house... life is more fun with caffeine! We played Resident evil and called Rachel (Other Rachel) and left a bunch of really hyper high-pitched screaming messages with background music! Heh...
But later we had a really good discussion. I haven't talked like that since Christina's party when I told Rebecca about Zach's problem... Rebecca really is a good listener, but she's also good at making me feel better about things. She's always been like that, I guess. So... Rachael and I were talking and she asked me why I was "friends" with Mysta... I really don't know why... Mysta is a horrible person, but I've known her since the second grade. Rachael said that Mysta was more like an "Accomplice" she said that Mysta kinda uses me and I get nothing out of the friendship but depression... I guess that's true... My mom said something like that once... We also talked about her Dad... I feel so bad for her.
I've only known Rachael for about a year (If even that), but feel like we've been friends a long time. I'm really not the type of person to talk to people if I haven't known them for very long, but I know that Rachael is a really good person... She even said the same thing... She said that she didn't know why but... "I can tell that you're a good person, and I know that I can trust you." It felt nice to hear something like that, especially because I really do think that I'm a horrible person... not openly... just sometimes I can be really selfish and I hate myself for it...
Anyway... Thanks, Rachael. You're a good person too, and I trust you.
She asked me what my impression of her was when we first met she said, "I used to think that you were ignoring me because you didn't like me." I was not ignoring her! I'm just a shy person, besides I didn't think that she liked me! (Heh...)
Now... I'm coming clean. I'm going to tell Mysta how much I really hate her... It's about time that someone showed her how manipulative she really is and that she really isn't the only one with problems. (She really acts like that, I'm not joking!) She lies to me, acts like someone she's not, she seeks attention and will do anything thing to get it, she's selfish, annoyingly boy crazy, and she's my friend... I'm not just doing this for me. I'm doing this for the whole school, and that includes even her. Watch out, I'm coming Mysta.
I hope that no one will get hurt, but I don't think I've ever hated anyone more in my entire life. Actually, I don't hate people. After my friend told me she hated me in the 6th grade, I realized how strong the word Hate really is... My friend, Jenny, told me, "Dislike is the opposite of Like, and Hate is the opposite of Love." After the incident in the 6th grade I decided that I wouldn't hate anyone... no matter how bad they are, but Mysta... she's the friend that told me she hated me. I had never felt so hurt in my entire life... yesterday I asked her about it and she didn't even remember... that's when I decided "I'll change things." And I will.
Starting Tuesday things will be different, and I'm making sure of that.
Until we meet again under the blue moon,
Alex
The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars
Introduction
Current Mood: Trippy
My name is Alex, but because of the abundance of people named Alex I go by Alyce. Call me whichever you most prefer.
I'm a teenager not much different from any other. I like listening to music, watching tv... Well, just look at my interests.
Not too long ago I started what's called a "Space" on MSN for my messenger friends to read, but no one really even knows it exists. I'm just going to post my first blog from there onto here due to my laziness.
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Alright. I suppose that I shall see how this works.
Not many people know this, but I have a passion for blogging. No one knows this because no one on MySpace has taken the time to read my blog. :P So I figured maybe, just maybe, some of my MSN friends might take a little gander at what I have in my mind.
Some of the blog that I add might just be copied and pasted from my MySpace, but considering how much I hate that sight... Maybe not. All will be revealed in time.
For those of you already getting bored, this blog is more for me than it is for you. I enjoy looking back on what I've written without having to keep it in a diary and hide it from everyone. Hence the reason why it's all out here for you to read. I'm not the type of person who likes to hide things, so chances are I'll pour out my whole life in this blog for you to read without even really thinking about it.
So my time as an MSN blogger has reached it's beginning. Shall I call it my birth? Hmm... Interesting thought.
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Does that help you understand me a bit? Not really? Well, all in time...
Until We Meet Again Under the Blue Moon,
A.S.H.
(Alyce Shayne Heart)
Currently Listening To:
LDN - Lily Allen
My name is Alex, but because of the abundance of people named Alex I go by Alyce. Call me whichever you most prefer.
I'm a teenager not much different from any other. I like listening to music, watching tv... Well, just look at my interests.
Not too long ago I started what's called a "Space" on MSN for my messenger friends to read, but no one really even knows it exists. I'm just going to post my first blog from there onto here due to my laziness.
-----------
Alright. I suppose that I shall see how this works.
Not many people know this, but I have a passion for blogging. No one knows this because no one on MySpace has taken the time to read my blog. :P So I figured maybe, just maybe, some of my MSN friends might take a little gander at what I have in my mind.
Some of the blog that I add might just be copied and pasted from my MySpace, but considering how much I hate that sight... Maybe not. All will be revealed in time.
For those of you already getting bored, this blog is more for me than it is for you. I enjoy looking back on what I've written without having to keep it in a diary and hide it from everyone. Hence the reason why it's all out here for you to read. I'm not the type of person who likes to hide things, so chances are I'll pour out my whole life in this blog for you to read without even really thinking about it.
So my time as an MSN blogger has reached it's beginning. Shall I call it my birth? Hmm... Interesting thought.
--------
Does that help you understand me a bit? Not really? Well, all in time...
Until We Meet Again Under the Blue Moon,
A.S.H.
(Alyce Shayne Heart)
Currently Listening To:
LDN - Lily Allen
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