A Look Into Whom I Trust

Original Date: Saturday, January 13, 2007
Current Mood(Then): Determined

Heh...

I watched 13 Going on 30 again a few days ago.. I love that movie!

Last night I slept over at Rachael's house... It was fun! We were way hyper! I snuck a few Pepsi's to her house... life is more fun with caffeine! We played Resident evil and called Rachel (Other Rachel) and left a bunch of really hyper high-pitched screaming messages with background music! Heh...

But later we had a really good discussion. I haven't talked like that since Christina's party when I told Rebecca about Zach's problem... Rebecca really is a good listener, but she's also good at making me feel better about things. She's always been like that, I guess. So... Rachael and I were talking and she asked me why I was "friends" with Mysta... I really don't know why... Mysta is a horrible person, but I've known her since the second grade. Rachael said that Mysta was more like an "Accomplice" she said that Mysta kinda uses me and I get nothing out of the friendship but depression... I guess that's true... My mom said something like that once... We also talked about her Dad... I feel so bad for her.

I've only known Rachael for about a year (If even that), but feel like we've been friends a long time. I'm really not the type of person to talk to people if I haven't known them for very long, but I know that Rachael is a really good person... She even said the same thing... She said that she didn't know why but... "I can tell that you're a good person, and I know that I can trust you." It felt nice to hear something like that, especially because I really do think that I'm a horrible person... not openly... just sometimes I can be really selfish and I hate myself for it...

Anyway... Thanks, Rachael. You're a good person too, and I trust you.

She asked me what my impression of her was when we first met she said, "I used to think that you were ignoring me because you didn't like me." I was not ignoring her! I'm just a shy person, besides I didn't think that she liked me! (Heh...)

Now... I'm coming clean. I'm going to tell Mysta how much I really hate her... It's about time that someone showed her how manipulative she really is and that she really isn't the only one with problems. (She really acts like that, I'm not joking!) She lies to me, acts like someone she's not, she seeks attention and will do anything thing to get it, she's selfish, annoyingly boy crazy, and she's my friend... I'm not just doing this for me. I'm doing this for the whole school, and that includes even her. Watch out, I'm coming Mysta.

I hope that no one will get hurt, but I don't think I've ever hated anyone more in my entire life. Actually, I don't hate people. After my friend told me she hated me in the 6th grade, I realized how strong the word Hate really is... My friend, Jenny, told me, "Dislike is the opposite of Like, and Hate is the opposite of Love." After the incident in the 6th grade I decided that I wouldn't hate anyone... no matter how bad they are, but Mysta... she's the friend that told me she hated me. I had never felt so hurt in my entire life... yesterday I asked her about it and she didn't even remember... that's when I decided "I'll change things." And I will.

Starting Tuesday things will be different, and I'm making sure of that.

Until we meet again under the blue moon,

Alex

Currently Listening To:
The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars