The Letter I Might Send

Sup.

Haha. Not sure where I’m going with this blog, I think that it’s more of just a quick update than anything else. I’m trying to figure out what to write for an Occasional Paper for my Creative Writing class and I’m hoping that this will get the juices flowing. (An Occasional Paper is a paper written on occasion. It can be about anything and written at any time. The only deadline is before the end of the quarter. Also, you have to read it aloud to the class. I might post a few of mine up here…)

Remember that letter in my last post? I was thinking of writing one to actually send to that person. One that’s a little less… dramatic? I’m not going to lie, it’s a tad bit embellished, but as my Editor-In-Chief and friend always says, “Life was boring, so I embellished.” Haha. Sara is so awesome. I was super glad when our Creative Writing teacher announced that she was going to be the editor for the school’s literary magazine this year…

But anyway… Back to that letter. I was thinking of writing one to that person, to finally get it all out of my system… But I think that I’m scared of how she’ll react. I sort of just want to say something like, “I’m tired of pretending that we don’t have a history, but I also don’t want to go back to that. I want to be friends, but I don’t ever want anything like that to happen again. And you better be darn nice or I’m gonna crack your skull.”
Okay… So maybe without the skull cracking.
I just… feel bad for her…
Cutting her out of my life…
I’m happier now, but I’ve always just wanted everyone to be happy… why can’t there be some sort of happy compromise?

Not to mention I think that she’s been twisting the truth when she tells people. Sure, I made my share of mistakes, but so did she. Why does she get the right to make herself the victim when she brought it all on herself?
I’m not really the victim, either.
There doesn’t really need to be a victim, I think. We just need to move on. It happened, and life keeps going.

I think mostly I’m trying to get my thoughts together. They never make much sense in my mind. It jumps around so crazily and I never know how I get from one thing to another.

Anyway. I’m going to add a little happiness note:
Today I finally put up all the stars that my friends signed for me on my birthday. I can’t thank Kelsey enough for her thoughtfulness in getting everyone to sign them for me. They add a lot of color to my closet doors next to my signed Meg & Dia posters and the little things that my friends have drawn for me over the years. I love it, it looks super busy but I find it sort of relaxing. It makes me smile every time I look over. It’s like… These people care for me, and whenever I’m in my room, I can be reminded of that. Reminded that people care. That’s always nice.

That’s pretty much it for now. I’m going to take pictures of my closet doors soon so I can share the awesomeness of my Friend Constellation with the world, but my cards are full with my cousin’s wedding pictures. :P

I feel like thanking you, so I shall!
Thank ye,
Alyce

Listening To:

Jai Ho (You Are My Destiny)
Slumdog Millionaire