Guitar Lessons

Yes. I am finally taking lessons. From a teacher I actually like. Haha.
My first teacher was the owner of the store that I bought my acoustic guitar from. At my first lesson he spent half the time talking to a couple of kids about... well, it doesn't really matter. He spent the other half of the time just sort of blankly staring at the wall as he spoke. The only time he looked at me was when he was looking down on me. I hated that he had an air of "I'm so much better than you." Needless to say, I didn't learn much.
Now I know that you're probably wondering who my new teacher is... (Or not, I just like to think you are to lead up to this great announcement...) It's Meg Frampton from Meg & Dia! No joke! She's my new guitar teacher! And she's great! She charges about the same as my first teacher, but I can tell that she actually wants to teach me. It's not all about the money, and I feel a lot more comfortable with her.
I can't even tell you how great it is to be learning from my idol. I never imagined this. Ever. It only makes me that much more excited to learn. Meg told me to practice for at least fifteen minutes a day and I probably practice for an hour every day now. Hahaha.
By the way, she practices for three hours a day. She said that she mostly does warm ups while watching movies, but that's still amazing. Only reminds me why I love MaD so much. Their love for music is fantastic.
That's really the most exciting thing going on in my life right now. I'll be attending college come winter semester and after I finish my generals at the community college, I'm going to SUU. I'm really excited, but sort of freaked at the same time. Whatever happens, I hope that I can continue taking lessons from Meg. After MaD tours and everything. Haha.
But music comes first, as that is what I want to do with my life, after all.
I used to want to be an English Teacher, but that was until I watched the school district turn into a sinking ship this year. It was like in Pirates of the Caribbean when the ship is sinking and Jack Sparrow gets off right before it goes under. The ship was the district, teachers, and all the students and the Seniors who graduated this year were Jack. Oh well, at least we got out before the worst of it. It still makes me sad, though. I hope to raise my kids here in Utah some day, but if the Education system is all out of whack, then... Well, that gives me second thoughts.
ANYWAY. Back to the point. My guitar lessons. I suppose my point is, I never thought that I could be taking guitar lessons from Meg Frampton, but I am. It makes me that much more optimistic towards the future, but I made it happen by actually doing something. Your luck won't change unless you put yourself out on the line. I put mine on the line (sort of) by asking MaD on their formspring if Meg would be willing to give lessons.
Lucky me. (Seriously. I feel so lucky!)
Also, luckier! Christy paid for my first lesson because she knew how much it meant to me and my father refused to pay, but he's actually changed his tune and now he's going to pay until I get a job!
Alyce's Checklist:

• Get a Job
• Sign up for College
• Redecorate my room
• Guitar Lessons (Started!)
• Piano Lessons
• Get xbox live gold
• Paint my guitar case ((<—Almost dne!
• Get a metronome
• Do a photoshoot downtown! (For REAL. All day!)
• Finish my “Music Inspired” Photo Series!

Until next time!

Alyce

 

Things you should check out:

Meg & Dia dA Fanclub!
Take a gander at some MaD inspired art!
My tumblr!
Nothing much yet, but I’m planning on making it better in time.
The New MaD Boards!
Meg & Dia fan? Dying to chat with some other MaD fans? Join the boards!
Meg & Dia's Bandcamp!
You can listen to almost any MaD song ever here. You can also buy most of their songs! Sound quality is tons better than MySpace.

 

“You’re more than a small town/You’re more than a small soul.” – ‘The One’ by Meg & Dia

Formspring

Notice that little "Ask Me Anything" box to the right over there? At the bottom, I think.

Well, you can ask me any question there and I will answer it, but I think that someone asked me a question and I didn't get to read all of it. So if you sent me a question about four or five weeks ago...

Well, here's the question. I would like to know all of it, because if it it really something that someone wants to know, I would love to answer it for them.
The Question:

"hey there:).though it was a lot of text to read,it has really worth it!(i hope my eyes won't start screaming).i'm curious who are you.no,not the adress and age answer,i want the truth...by the way,you aren't the only person in the world who has noticed ho"

So if you asked me this question, I would love to hear all of it and answer it for you. Just lemme know, alright?

-Alyce

The Little Things

I love to learn more about people. Even the most mundane things make me feel like I know a person a little bit more, that they're handing a little piece of their life over to me.

I'd love to know more about you. So here's my challenge! Either comment on this or send me a message to SeventeenthStar@gmail.com with a list, however large or small, of the most mundane things about you. Or things that most people don't know. Either because you don't mention them in normal conversation, or maybe because you just don't think of it that often.
I think that I'd like to try to make a video or something of it, so I will be making a video on my account soon asking for submissions so I can compile a video of what I think are the most mundane but interesting things about people. :)

My List:
I only eat the pink and red Starbursts. I don't like the others.
I only like peanuts in candy bars.
I tend to get obsessed with things really easily... Some past obessions are: Charmed, Michelle Branch, Hikaru Utada, Final Fantasy, Anime, and currently Meg & Dia.
My favorite show right now is Better Off Ted, but it was cancelled. :(
I'm afraid of the dark.
Whenever there's a thunderstorm, I hide in the basement because I am afraid.
I love to make friends with people that I'll probably never meet over the internet because it makes me feel special.
I really hate Rap. Except for Eminem. He's pretty cool.
I consider Fighting for Nothing by Meg & Dia to be my theme song.
I only let people that I really trust listen to MaD when we drive in my car.
My favorite color is blue, but it's that precise electric blue of the deep ocean when the sun and the weather is just right.
I think that Yellow and Orange are really obnoxious colors.
Tinkerbell gives me nightmares.
I want to write, but I really want to be a lyricist when I grow up. :3
I actually don't hate Twilight. It's decent, I just like other books a lot more.
I started reading classics because I wanted people to think I was cool and smart, now I really do love them.
I'm terrified of relationships, or anything that smells like one.
I really like chicken. It could possibly be my favorite thing ever.
I also really love rice. Give me chicken and rice, and I'm a happy girl.
I always put the lid on the toilet down before I flush because of something that someone told me when I was in the third grade.
I obsessively wash my hands.
I have bad morning breath.
Everywhere by Michelle Branch has been my favorite song for as long as I can remember. More now just for the memories it brings back.
I don't like s'mores, but I like all the ingredients for them when they're separated. :/
I love purple, it's just an awesome color. Red is cool too. Purple must be cool because it has Blue and Red, but I prefer to call it violet. Sometimes I wonder if there's a difference.
I hate to wear shoes, I think better when I'm not wearing them.
But I do like socks.
I've never been kissed.
I'm really selfish, but I'm okay with it because so is everyone else. Except for maybe my mother.
A lot of people think that I don't like Coke, but I actually do. I really can't tell the difference between Pepsi and Coke when I drink them, I just like Pepsi because the can is blue. Oh, and Pepsi is a tiny bit sweeter.
A boy told me once that he liked Meg & Dia and I seriously considered liking him. The meaning of this? Meg & Dia are a direct road to my heart.
I think that Fountain Coke is better than Fountain Pepsi.
I hate McDonald's, but love their Vanilla Cones.
I only use swear words when they're conveniently funny, otherwise I think that they just make people sound stupid.
I like to think that I know more about music (especially MaD) than other people, but I don't.

It turned into more like me telling a bunch of secrets. Hahaha. Oh, well. I think that this is good. I might add more later when they come to mind. The easiest way to do this would probably be to just write them all down in one day as they come to mind while you're going about your day.

Until we meet again,
Alyce
(Until I finally upload that video! :P)

Listening To:
Sway - The Perishers
Writing this blog makes me feel special. <3
I love it when people compliment my writing.

The Cycle

My life is a continuous cycle. I keep expecting things to change as I get older, but it just seems to be the same thing over and over again. You know how people say that history repeats itself? Well, this has proven to be true for my life time and time again.

Aren't people supposed to learn from their mistakes? It's how we grow and mature, but I really don't see anything changing... At least in the near future. I really hate being out of control of my own life. I think that I deserve to deal with my own mistakes, not those of others.

Someday I'll take myself out of the picture. Then maybe all of them can repeat history and I can finally experience something different...
Like... actual romantic feelings for a human being, maybe. Maybe I could experience love... or something.
Not that love is real or anything.

See... Here I am, second guessing myself. It's not a good habit.

Anyway, I wrote a song entitled The Cycle. I think that I've decided that I want to be a lyricist... So I could possibly find a band that's willing to try out some of my lyrics... Or just figure it out myself. I'm still learning guitar. I always feel bad about it when one of my friends comes over and they are so much better than I am...

Today was a good day. It's been a good weekend. Bentley has come back home for a visit. It's really nice to see her... Three weeks is too long.

Until we meet again,
Alyce

June Gloom

I find that I decide exactly who I am far too often. It just keeps changing, and I'm always unsure of what exactly I believe.

I mean, I am generally just the same person, I just seem to change my mind about some of the ways that I feel about things so often. I hoped that my experiences would help me just keep myself in one direction, but I keep turning this way and that. The world is spinning and I'm lost.

I may have mentioned before that I am asexual. No, I do not reproduce with myself. Haha. I'm just not physically attracted to other people. Well, at least I don't think so. I've just never had a crush on anyone before. I've tried to convince myself that I do, but the truth is that it's just wishful thinking. Some of my friends have told me, "You just haven't met the right guy." I suppose that this could be true, but I just haven't met any guy that has ever wanted a relationship with me or that I wanted to have a relationship with.

Maybe I'm just afraid. I mean, look at the world we live in. Only about half of marriages succeed and I've seen the few that have and... I'm not sure that they're really happy. Is it a lot to ask for to just be happy? I think that it's all anybody wants. I just wish that I could pull it off alone, but I always find myself wondering... Wouldn't it be nice to have someone that was always there for you? That you can't wait to see? I wish that I could marry my best friend. Just because we could hang out everyday and just be happy, but what would be the point in that? We wouldn't kiss or anything like that... it'd be all kinds of wrong. Marriage usually leads to children... right?

Gah. So off topic.

I've graduated from High School. Maybe this is why I'm sort of looking at my life again and trying to decide what I really want. For a long time I wanted to be a teacher, but I don't anymore. After seeing everything that was going on with our school districts this year... it would just be hard for me to be a teacher.

I think that really I want to be involved in music. I love writing and I love music. I would love to sing, but I don't think that I have it in me. So I'd like to be a lyricist or maybe a producer or something. I want to be creative... I don't want to feel like I'm trapped in my job, but I still want to help people. One of the things that have helped me is music...

I didn't want to get married, but I guess that I can't make that sort of decision until I'm actually faced with it... there's no point in trying to hold myself back.

I'm going to try writing again. For real. I've been working on a story that Rachel and I might turn into a graphic novel and I think that it could actually get somewhere. And I'm hoping that Project Ink will actually happen and that we'll make another lit mag... It's nice to actually create something that you can hold in your hands...

I've been in a funk. Gloomy. Heh. Not really depressed... Just... Well. I feel small, I guess. I've always wanted to leave my mark and recently it just feels like I never really will. And then I start to think that I have no future. I just have to keep telling myself that I don't really know until I actually get out there and do something.

I've forgiven, but I still feel a little bitter. I'm only human.

Hopefully more to come,
Alyce

Currently Listening To:
June Gloom - Meg & Dia
(Excited for their new album!!)

Fallback

I feel like all I ever do is change.

Well, not really myself. More like my mind. I make a decision, say that I'll stick with it and then a few months later I've changed my mind... then I'm unsure.

I used to believe that everyone deserved a second chance. That was until I went through a big change in my life and learned a lot about people.
So I made the choice to keep someone "unhealthy" for me at a distance.
I still think that I made the right choice and I wouldn't change it for anything. It gave me room to grow and learn more about myself as well as form new relationships and strengthen old ones. I feel like I'm a much better person because of it and I've also been more open to see more than just one side of any situation.

I mean... It's nice to think for yourself. It's still hard for me to believe, even now, that I wasn't being myself. I've always wanted to be everyone's friend, it's difficult to believe that I would push everyone away just because I was told that... that person was obnoxious, or mean, or some other friggen excuse.

Anyway, I've started to let some people back into my life and so far it hasn't really brought much change, other than I feel a little uneasy when I think about it.

And then there's graduation. I come home every day, lock myself in my room, and just spend time wallowing. I just love everyone so much. Bingham has been so great to me, I'm going to miss it a lot.
I'm happy that I'm getting older, and that soon I'll be able to live my own life, I just can't help but wish that I'll see all of my friends again when I'm older... Even though I know that I won't.

Hence the video camera. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I keep it around a lot. I realize that I film some of the most random things, but it's because I want that memory (as small as it may be) to keep...
I've never had a very good memory.
I forget a lot of things.
It's sort of sad.

But I'm working on letters to give to a lot of my friends come graduation time. Chances are that if you're reading this, you will receive one. No big deal or anything, just a little letter concerning how amazing you are and how much I'll miss you and how amazing I know that you're life will be...
All my friends are so talented. ^^

Chalk the Walk soon! Hopefully I'll put up some pictures!! Miranda R. and Rachel (Nova) are in my group! It's gonna be fawesome. :D

Love,
Alyce

10 People

My friend Hilary ranted about ten people in her blog and I felt inspired… Time for some rant-age!!

1. I don’t see you very often, but I wonder if you know how much I think about you? I’ve known you for such a long time, and after not speaking with you for awhile I’m glad that we can act as if nothing has changed. I love that I can still smile and laugh with you about the little things. I love that even after all this time we still have a connection, but I wish that you had kept hold of your life. You had so much potential. It still hurts to know how much you threw away.

2. You are beautiful. Classic beauty, but you’re also deliciously mischievous. I love spending time with you. I love that by some great leaps and bounds that we became good friends. I love how things went from extremely awkward to the way they are now, as if we’ve been friends all our lives. I find myself always wishing to know more about you. I spill my guts and all you do is smile and be reassuring. I wish that I could do something for you in the way that you helped me. Sometimes I wonder what you would say if I told you that you saved my life. Out of everyone I know, I know that you will go on to do the most.

3. I miss being friends with you. I mean, we’re still friends, but where did all the laughter go? Sometimes I wonder if I was nothing but a charity case for you. Someone to make you feel good about yourself, but I still think that you cared. You seem so distant now. Whenever I’m with you, you’re always texting someone else. I miss when our friendship was easy, when I knew just what to say and do to make you laugh.

4. You drive me insane, but you always have. We have such different views on life, on religion, even on who really won the Battle of Gettysburg. You’re so stubborn and so arrogant, but you’re also very thoughtful and you know me too well. Sometimes I lie to you. What is it about you that always makes me feel like I’m such a failure? What is it about you that makes me feel like I’m such a terrible friend? I don’t see you anymore, even though you are so close, I miss feeling so frustrated. Do me a favor? Just give me a hint that you still know that I’m alive.

5. I feel like I barely know you, but I can’t help but love you. You’re beautiful, but I feel like you’re falling apart. I just want to hold you together. I just want to help you. I just want to feel like you care about me. I’ve shared such a huge part of my life with you, and you’ve shared some of yours with me. I want to be there for you, always. I want to be the one stable thing in your life.

6. You make me feel inadequate, but you keep telling me how great I’m doing. I always feel like you’re so proud of me, but I can’t help but feel like your sidekick. You believe in me, even though you’ve mentioned you know that I won’t go very far. “But you’ll be happy,” you said, and I really believe that. Thank you for always being honest with me, thank you for pulling me through and for helping me see the resolution to every issue.

7. I don’t know you, but I feel like I do. You will never read this, and no matter how much I want it… We will never be friends. We’ve met maybe twice, but I feel this crazy connection with you. I wish that I could have a real conversation with you, and I wish that I could help you through those sleepless nights. I want to tell you that I understand, and that I’m here if you need someone to lean on. I would love to be your friend.

8. Your life seems so simple, even though I know it’s not. You stress about boys and the little things… I just want to tell you that there’s so much more to life. We’ve never been extremely close, but you’ve given me the greatest gift ever. Thanks for bringing even more light into my life.

9. You are so far away. I never get to talk to you anymore. It’s funny, I never realized how much you meant to me until you left. I never thought that we were as close as we are until I read your letter the first time I left. I don’t think that anyone knows me as well as you do. You are so bright, so smart, and so caring. I want to be where you are because without you there is a major part of my life missing. You are the most responsible person that I’ve ever known, and I wish that you were my older sister. I wish that you were always here to look out for me. You are so strong and you know so much, while having experienced so little. I love you and I’m proud to call you my friend.

10. You haunt me. Every word you ever said flows through the back of my mind. I second guess everything I do, every movement I make, every little thing that I say. You hold me back. You manipulate my mind. You’ve almost molded me into what you want me to be. I won’t be afraid anymore, I won’t let you hold me back. I won’t let you win. I wish that we could stop pretending that we were never friends.

That was me trying to be vague. I guess that we’ll see how well that works out.

Love,
Alyce