Didn't think you'd fall this far.
Walk all over me, sweetest most sincere friend of mine. Tear out my heart and watch in glee as I bleed... Believe it or not, no matter what you do I'll never stop loving you.
I might have given up on the trust, I might never look at you the same way again but I always want to be your friend.
I might look away in disgust. I might not speak to you for weeks at a time. I might say cruel things. But I'll always remember what we went through together... When you were still the greatest person in the world. When I fully trusted you and never saw past the lie.
Will he take as much as I have?
Will he allow you to take out all your pain on him? Selfish sinners aren't known for being helpful.
What's in the choice, as easy as it is? Her or him, friend or stranger, sister or lover. If you even have to think about it you weren't really a friend in the beginning.
Dearest friend of mine, what have you done?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Selfish Sins IIII
No one will ever love you as much as I.
He told you he loved you, but does he really? You barely know this naive little sinner. This boy who's told so many that he "loves" them. What is he but a liar? Saying whatever he feels to get what he wants most, a trophy such as you.
Someday he'll tire of you, which I never will. His "love" will fade while mine will pain for you, hoping you'll finally see what it is you've done to me.
I've lost something vital to you and I know now that I'll never get it back. You've changed everything in me and I will right the wrongs you've done in my life and show love to those who deserve it, who deserve to know something other than the Selfish Sins people like you have spread around the world.
I have been born again, a new star in the darkness and thanks to what you've done I will never fade. When all the others have fallen I will still shine brightly. I'll never give up the hope you almost shattered.
So while you strive on his selfish sins I hope you remember me. I hope you look back and think, "I should have thought twice and stayed with the people who really loved me."
He told you he loved you, but does he really? You barely know this naive little sinner. This boy who's told so many that he "loves" them. What is he but a liar? Saying whatever he feels to get what he wants most, a trophy such as you.
Someday he'll tire of you, which I never will. His "love" will fade while mine will pain for you, hoping you'll finally see what it is you've done to me.
I've lost something vital to you and I know now that I'll never get it back. You've changed everything in me and I will right the wrongs you've done in my life and show love to those who deserve it, who deserve to know something other than the Selfish Sins people like you have spread around the world.
I have been born again, a new star in the darkness and thanks to what you've done I will never fade. When all the others have fallen I will still shine brightly. I'll never give up the hope you almost shattered.
So while you strive on his selfish sins I hope you remember me. I hope you look back and think, "I should have thought twice and stayed with the people who really loved me."
Selfish Sins III
Are you happy knowing you've lost our trust?
The closest of friends, all different but all the same.
One was too selfish to think of us first, to think about what would happen to our friendship.
She took him with one fowl swoop and held him close, grinning and giggling the entire time. We watched in anger, sadness, and disappointment as they kissed before us, not a care in the world.
You have him now, dearest friend of mine. The darkness has taken over, any chance of ever shining has been lost. You brought us close then tore us apart. I hope you're happy, dearest friend of mine.
We'll never trust you again. You're false beauty has been revealed. I hope you sleep well at night, knowing who you've hurt and what you've lost. I hope you're happy with what you've done. This pain might never subside.
I've lost faith in you and this selfish sin.
What you call love is nothing but a selfish desire to be wanted, to touch, and to feel.
It won't last long and don't come to us when it falls apart.
I'll laugh like you did at her. Bitter, bitter, bitter sinner.
The closest of friends, all different but all the same.
One was too selfish to think of us first, to think about what would happen to our friendship.
She took him with one fowl swoop and held him close, grinning and giggling the entire time. We watched in anger, sadness, and disappointment as they kissed before us, not a care in the world.
You have him now, dearest friend of mine. The darkness has taken over, any chance of ever shining has been lost. You brought us close then tore us apart. I hope you're happy, dearest friend of mine.
We'll never trust you again. You're false beauty has been revealed. I hope you sleep well at night, knowing who you've hurt and what you've lost. I hope you're happy with what you've done. This pain might never subside.
I've lost faith in you and this selfish sin.
What you call love is nothing but a selfish desire to be wanted, to touch, and to feel.
It won't last long and don't come to us when it falls apart.
I'll laugh like you did at her. Bitter, bitter, bitter sinner.
Selfish Sins II
I watched a star die today.
She was one that I always seemed to pay more attention to than the rest. She always shone so bright, flickering every now and again. I'd look up and she was always different than all the rest, an underdog of sorts. I had so much hope for this lone shining star, I prayed for her often. She'd wink and smile at me, always unsure but so beautiful.
I noticed recently that she seemed to shine brighter than the rest. I thought that she was so happy, having finally found her place among the other stars, glowing even in the darkest of darkness. Maybe she was better now, more than ever... But maybe the whole thing turned out to be a lie.
I've seen stars vanish into the darkness before. They flash brightly for only moments then disappear without any complaint... I never quite understood it. But this one star that I really wanted to survive finally just gave up.
I was watching her shine, smiling back at her when in the blink of an eye she was dragged into the oblivion of the darkness, of the world. She fell victim to her own selfish sin.
Now I watch as one by one the stars die. They're overtaken by the shadows and the reality and the heartless soul of love, the wildest and most painful sin of them all.
Maybe I should have known she'd fall, but she fooled me all the while.
She was one that I always seemed to pay more attention to than the rest. She always shone so bright, flickering every now and again. I'd look up and she was always different than all the rest, an underdog of sorts. I had so much hope for this lone shining star, I prayed for her often. She'd wink and smile at me, always unsure but so beautiful.
I noticed recently that she seemed to shine brighter than the rest. I thought that she was so happy, having finally found her place among the other stars, glowing even in the darkest of darkness. Maybe she was better now, more than ever... But maybe the whole thing turned out to be a lie.
I've seen stars vanish into the darkness before. They flash brightly for only moments then disappear without any complaint... I never quite understood it. But this one star that I really wanted to survive finally just gave up.
I was watching her shine, smiling back at her when in the blink of an eye she was dragged into the oblivion of the darkness, of the world. She fell victim to her own selfish sin.
Now I watch as one by one the stars die. They're overtaken by the shadows and the reality and the heartless soul of love, the wildest and most painful sin of them all.
Maybe I should have known she'd fall, but she fooled me all the while.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
That's Not My Name
Just a little something for anyone who likes the Ting Tings!
My Update:
Everything's FANTASTIC! I promise to update soon. My birthday is this Sunday (Feb 1st) more on that later.
<3
Alyce
My Update:
Everything's FANTASTIC! I promise to update soon. My birthday is this Sunday (Feb 1st) more on that later.
<3
Alyce
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Knowing Doubt
Why does it always feel like I'm waiting for something?
I've spent most of my life expecting something to happen. What I'm waiting for, I'm not sure. Sometimes I have dreams where I'm sitting alone in a room with a single door, chair, clock, table, and radio. I'm sitting in the chair with the radio playing softly while the clock eternally clicks away. What am I doing? I'm watching the door. I've never tried to open it, I just sit and watch it, waiting... Waiting. Sometimes I stand up, but I never approach the door. That's it. The music changes, usually with whatever is playing on my ipod, (I sleep with music playing.) but nothing ever happens.
I know that it might sound boring, but I like this dream a lot more that my myriad of nightmares. (Yes I have a ton of nightmares... like... a lot. Hence the reason why I don't sleep much.)
I have this dream almost every night, and I have yet to figure out why. All I know is that whatever is behind that door... Well, when I wake up it scares me. I almost don't want to know what's behind it, but another part of me is dying to know what's beyond the door.
The Unknown.
It's a big fear of mine.
But I really want to know... Well, I want to KNOW!
But there's another part of me that... isn't sure if I really even want to know.
Meg & Dia, two of the most amazing people in the world have a song called Just One of Those Things that says:
"I don't know which is worse;
to learn or not to know."
I feel like that is so true to so many things in life. I know that I'm not the only person who has this intense fear of the unknown, I'm sure many people do too, they just... might not even realize. The unknown lives in many things; the future, death, strangers, etc... That everyone is afraid of it in one way or another, I just... I think that I might be a little too scared of the unknown... If I wasn't so afraid I think that I'd be more sure in everything I do and I'd live a much easier life, so I'm working on it. I suppose that we shall see if I ever rise above my phobia...
Maybe it would be better to just embrace the unknown, to know doubt.
I've spent most of my life expecting something to happen. What I'm waiting for, I'm not sure. Sometimes I have dreams where I'm sitting alone in a room with a single door, chair, clock, table, and radio. I'm sitting in the chair with the radio playing softly while the clock eternally clicks away. What am I doing? I'm watching the door. I've never tried to open it, I just sit and watch it, waiting... Waiting. Sometimes I stand up, but I never approach the door. That's it. The music changes, usually with whatever is playing on my ipod, (I sleep with music playing.) but nothing ever happens.
I know that it might sound boring, but I like this dream a lot more that my myriad of nightmares. (Yes I have a ton of nightmares... like... a lot. Hence the reason why I don't sleep much.)
I have this dream almost every night, and I have yet to figure out why. All I know is that whatever is behind that door... Well, when I wake up it scares me. I almost don't want to know what's behind it, but another part of me is dying to know what's beyond the door.
The Unknown.
It's a big fear of mine.
But I really want to know... Well, I want to KNOW!
But there's another part of me that... isn't sure if I really even want to know.
Meg & Dia, two of the most amazing people in the world have a song called Just One of Those Things that says:
"I don't know which is worse;
to learn or not to know."
I feel like that is so true to so many things in life. I know that I'm not the only person who has this intense fear of the unknown, I'm sure many people do too, they just... might not even realize. The unknown lives in many things; the future, death, strangers, etc... That everyone is afraid of it in one way or another, I just... I think that I might be a little too scared of the unknown... If I wasn't so afraid I think that I'd be more sure in everything I do and I'd live a much easier life, so I'm working on it. I suppose that we shall see if I ever rise above my phobia...
Maybe it would be better to just embrace the unknown, to know doubt.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Untouched Music Video Contest
Mood: Spent
So just recently The Veronicas started a music video contest for their song Untouched and guess who entered! I JUST finished the video and uploaded it on Facebook, with hopes of winning or at least someone saying, "This is really good!" If I win I get a bunch of signed stuff and my video on their website, so pray for me!
Making this video was extremely difficult. I had a very limited time to make it and it was hard to get everyone involved to cooperate, but it turned out pretty good.
It wasn't exactly what I wanted it to be, but I hope it's good.
Here it is:
Currently Listening To:
Untouched by The Veronicas
So just recently The Veronicas started a music video contest for their song Untouched and guess who entered! I JUST finished the video and uploaded it on Facebook, with hopes of winning or at least someone saying, "This is really good!" If I win I get a bunch of signed stuff and my video on their website, so pray for me!
Making this video was extremely difficult. I had a very limited time to make it and it was hard to get everyone involved to cooperate, but it turned out pretty good.
It wasn't exactly what I wanted it to be, but I hope it's good.
Here it is:
Currently Listening To:
Untouched by The Veronicas
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